Everything's Boring Now ...

... A Rant :)

 “I had no idea how much these quiet pleasures had retreated for my life while I was rushing around, and now I’m inviting them back in: still, rhythmic work with the hands, the kind of light concentration that allows you to dream, and the sense of a kindness done in the process”

- Wintering, by Katherine May 

I recently cancelled my Apple Music subscription to save money (following our decision to quit my full time job, as detailed in this post). 

As a result, on my way to work twice a week, I have resorted to listening to a total of 3 Owl City CD's that I obtained as a teenager. They have lived in the little in-between-the front-seats-compartment (I don't know what that compartment is called, LOL) in all my cars since my first Buick when I was 17. 

Even though the days of CD's are long over, I just never got rid of them. Partially because of sentiment (after all, Owl City Ocean Eyes was the first album I ever listened to that wasn't completely and obviously "Christian", and paved the way for me to experiment with music until I have the tastes that I do today), and partially because I was just too lazy/or didn't care to. 

The albums are Ocean Eyes, Mobile Orchestra, and Maybe I'm Dreaming, and even though these albums in their digital form are apart of my Apple Music Library, I haven't listened to them in their entirety in a long time. 

So I was surprised to find that, when listening to them for the first time in my car on the way to work, how utterly enjoyable it was. How happy it made me! 

It got me thinking... why is it that when I have unlimited options - a digital arsenal of practically every song I could ever dream of listening to - I am so much more... stressed?? Overwhelmed? Unsatisfied? Some of my favorite songs are on Apple Music that I can access, after all. But a lot of times, I won't even listen to the whole song. I'll listen through the first chorus, then skip!

I think a huge reason for the decline in many people's mental health in recent years is the introduction of unlimited media. But not just music. YouTube has every video about every topic you could ever imagine. Streaming services have practically every movie and show that you could ever care to watch. Social Media has every profile of almost every person you know, with endless updates about their lives, and endless opinions on politics, pop culture, health, parenting.... etc. 

Don't get me wrong, this is great and all. This is all very valuable and helpful in it's own way. 

But it's not just the problem of decision paralysis from all the unlimited choices and information overwhelm, something that I believe our brains weren't designed to handle in the first place. No, it's also the fact that we are all being robbed blind by subscription services. 

Think about it. A year of my Apple Music subscription cost me $10.99 x 12 months = about $130 bucks. 

You are telling me, after paying A HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLARS - that if I cancel the "subscription", I don't have the choice or the option to access ANY of my favorite songs anymore? 

So in essence, nothing is really MINE. Nothing is OWNED. 

In the olden days, you bought a CD, and then that CD was yours FOREVER. Even my Owl City CDs, TO THIS DAY are still MINE! I can still play them, I don't have to continue paying to continue enjoying them, and what's more, the songs aren't going to change if the world decides it's offensive for some reason for 10 years. 

So while driving along hearing my CD and having my thoughts. I thought to myself - this is the life to strive for. 

A life that owns instead of rents. A life that is grateful for what I have, which isn't everything in the world ever. 

There is no striving for everything I can't have, because I'm content with what I do have. And what I DO have, I'm grateful for and I take care of. 

A life that doesn't dull the pain of the mundane with hits of dopamine just to get by and feed the need of more more MORE. 

Because here's the thing ... the internet never ends. If I have an addiction to scrolling, here's the scary thing. There is no end to it. There is no limit. You could literally go on, and on and on. But it will never fully satisfy! 

I remember when I was a young teenager and I was getting into nail art (side note.... my mom didn't approve of the nail art. She thought nails should only be painted red, pink, or nude colors only. When I tried different colors such as purple as well as designs, she was gravely disapproving! I have no idea why, but it makes me chuckle today. LOL), I remember I would log onto Pinterest, which was still new and hot at the time, and search "nail art". And I WOULD ACTUALLY EVENTUALLY SCROLL TO THE "BOTTOM" OF THE PAGE because that was the END of the search results for "nail art"!!!! Nowadays, that just doesn't happen. 

It is my belief that a big learning curve for my generation (Gen Z, or the micro-generation, "Zillenial") was how to manage our own screen time, because it's not something our parents grew up with. 

As a new mom, I see plenty of online advice about not letting your kid have too much screen time, because there's actually some research on the subject now. 

But I'm still struggling with my OWN screen time, after 10+ years of cultivated habits from when I was a social media and internet-using teenager! My generation's parents didn't know how to deal with this phone stuff, because it all became available after they were adults.

It's something that I want to better in myself, so that I can raise my child with the tools he needs to be self disciplined. 

This is ONE of the reasons that I have avowed myself to start blogging more and regularly. To, in a sense, bring back the enjoyment of "slow internet". I have no idea if anyone still even reads my blog. Every one is out watching short form videos! Including myself, at times! 

But I want to get back to the slow, methodical, even ritualistic practice of the delayed gratification type of media, the type that takes awhile to put together, that helps me share thoughts and even understand my own values while I type them out. It takes practice, and honestly, a whole lot of unlearning and RE-learning. But I think it's worth it! 

Well, friends, that is all. This was a rather rambly, rant/vent sort of post. It was something that came to mind for me recently after actually giving up some things that I used to have "limited" options of. It got me thinking and so I wanted to share. If you haven't taken a break from your subscriptions lately, I recommend you give it a try! It might be "boring" for a bit, but that's where you start to see the magic! Not to mention your wallet will thank you. 

What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you think that the introduction of streaming and the "unlimited" nature of the internet, has ultimately improved society or harmed it? 

Until next time :)

 

My Sourdough Adventures!

One of my favorite recent food hobbies that I started is sourdough. 

I don't really like how the pinholes turned out on this one - also my score wasn't deep enough which is why it burst through my design during the oven spring!

When I first started out (about a year ago), I was overwhelmed by the amount of complicated and overly-scientific methods and processes on the internet. I was intimidated until I finally watched Brian Lagerstrom's video, which is very beginner-friendly. This video eventually helped me make my first successful loaf ever!

I've since adapted and tweaked the method for my own purposes, and the following post is my current routine! The method is my adaptation of Brian's instructions based on my schedule and my baking experience. 

The rubber band indicates the level that it has risen from!! This is a very active starter, ready to bake with :)

My Full Sourdough Process: 

Note about feeding: I usually do not feed my starter daily. I keep my starter on the counter, and when I'm ready to bake, if it's been awhile (a week or more), I will feed it once 24hrs before baking, and again 8hrs before baking, at that point it's usually good to go. If I use it regularly enough, I only need to feed it once, 8hrs before baking. This may not work for everyone though and depends on your location and climate. I usually keep any discard in a mason jar in my fridge which I use to make discard recipes!

Start with a active and bubbly starter that has at least doubled -

1. Mixing bowl: 320g of 92F water (microwave for 20 seconds), 200g starter, 450g flour (I use AP), and 12g salt. Stir until combined and shaggy. 
2. Cover, place in oven with light on for 30 min. 
3. Stretch and fold 4 sides and 4 corners. 
4. Cover, place in oven for 30 min. 
5. Stretch and fold 4 sides and 4 corners (again). 
6. Before placing back in oven, turn oven on 170F and let it preheat for 2 minutes only (to warm oven slightly). 
7. Cover, place in warmed oven for 2 hrs. 
8. Prep proofing basket, dough, and surface with sprinkling flour. Turn dough onto surface. 
9. Grab bottom, pull fold to top of ball. Grab sides, stretch to 8”-10”, fold one on top of the other. Grab top, pull to bottom. 
10. Fold in 4 corners. Tuck in a few more times wherever it points out the sides. 
11. Place in proofing basket, seam side UP. 
12. Cover and let rise for 90 min. 
13. Preheat Dutch oven in 500F oven for 30-45 min. 
14. Check dough, should slowly spring back when poked. (If not, give it more time). 
15. On parchment paper, sprinkle masa herina or cornmeal if desired. Turn dough onto paper, seam side DOWN. 
16. Score. If desired, spritz with water (will help the crust steam and create crusty blisters!)
17. Place loaf with paper into preheated Dutch Oven. You can put the Dutch oven on a cookie sheet in the oven to prevent a burned bottom. Lid on, place in oven, turn down to 485F, bake for 18 min. Dough will spring upwards during this time. You can check the loaf if desired.
18. Place back in oven, turn down to 465F, bake for another 25 min. Crust should be golden and crusty. 

This loaf has probably been my favorite yet - visually speaking!

This method has been very successful for me. Apparently, the method changes depending on the type of climate (and I think elevation) you're living in. I am in the midwest and things can get very warm and humid in the Summer, and very cold in the Winter, so you have an idea of what my location is like in which this method works. 

To wrap up, here are a few loaves that I've made - 

This one had a really high oven spring that I loved! 

Recently, I just started experimenting with inclusions. That is, using the same base process/method above, but modifying it to incorporate various flavors and toppings/add - ins! 

You can't quite tell in this photo, but this crumb shot is a rosemary loaf! I added rosemary and olive oil and it turned out so delicious.

The munched - looking spot on the left is where I tore some off to give to my toddler XD

The most recent inclusion I did was with rye! I made a rye sourdough loaf by swapping some of the all purpose flour with whole grain dark rye flour, and added caraway seeds, molasses, and cocoa powder. I made this one yesterday and plan to use it in the next few days for reuben sandwhiches!

Next I want to try a cheddar loaf. I am excited to continue experimenting! 

Have you ever tried making sourdough? What are your thoughts on my process? 

Until next time :)

- Amaris ☆ //

I Am Slowly But Surely Adjusting // June 2025

Here it is! The Life Update I've been promising. 

A lot has changed in my life, which has prevented me from posting as often as I said I wanted to back in the beginning of the year. And apart from that, life has just progressed, like life always does, even in the mundane and somewhat boring ways. 

But if I've learned anything as I've gotten older (I'm 27 now..... holy crap I'm old...) it's that the passing of time is very precious. My son will never be as young again as he was today. My body will never look quite the same as now. My marriage won't be in the same young stage as it is in right now. Life is so precious even in its mundanity!

So here they are, the bullet points of What's Been Going On!

⟢ I Quit My Full Time Job to Stay Home With My Son

(This one is a long one, LOL)

This one was a huge step in faith in which I quit my full time job doing inside sales for Home Depot, working from home. It was a great job, really, and I enjoyed it immensely! The job worked perfectly for me and my family for 2-1/2 years. I was able to have my son at home with me while working to provide the major part of our household income. All my breaks and lunches were right here at home, where I could cook, clean, play with my son, take a shower, etc. When I got off work for the day, I was right there at home ready for the evening, the second I clocked out. There was no commute, and no need to drive anywhere. I could (and frequently DID) wake up barely 10 minutes before my shift started to get those extra Z's! 

But, all was not paradise. It was a full time job which meant 40 hours of my week that I didn't get to have full time attention to my son. We had to stay inside, all day every day. And what's more, the job itself became a bit of a problem. I've always been a good worker, with attention to detail, organized, and who worked well with other people. But towards the end of my time there, they had a few people leave and they weren't being replaced. So everyone else had to absorb the extra work, and it became tiring on many of us. What's more, my relationship with my boss began to deteriorate as I was dealing with the increased and changing expectations, which was made harder by the fact that the boss person just didn't do their job very well (let's face it, the boss was probably stressed too). It got to the point where I was feeling anxious to go into work. I would think about work on the weekends, and while I still loved many aspects of the job, I just wasn't excited to do it any more than I was stressed. Several workdays had me clocking out with tears of frustration. My husband had been encouraging me for months that we can quit this job and figure out the finances - "we're not stuck here, GOD will provide", he would say. But I was scared. I didn't know how we would figure out how to make it. I made a lot of money and I just didn't know how we could get it to work. 

At the beginning of May, I reached my breaking point. I had a video meeting with my boss, and told her I wanted to go back to a store in 2 weeks, to work part time. The amount of freedom and excitement I felt! I still had no plan and no understanding of how we would make things work. But, I took the leap. The HUGE leap of faith. Frankly, I was scared to death! But, I did it anyways.

Here we are at the beginning of June 2025, and we are still alive and surviving. Yes, the money's tight. I miss being able to eat for my cycle (steaks during Menstruation, salmon and kombucha during Follicular, etc. etc.), I miss my regular massages, I miss being able to cook for other people more, and I miss many other aspects of the privileges of... you know, HAVING MONEY. But, we are working on it. And picking up hours here and there to make ends meet. We haven't been kicked out of our apartment yet so that has to show for something! And changes always lead the way to make new connection and new networks. I already have offers to do some clerical work for minimal hours at home for a few business partners that my husband and I know, on top of working 2 nights a week at a Home Depot store in my area. Things are still shifting and we are still getting used to everything, but there has been a tremendous amount of blessing and promise as GOD confirms the decision we made!

⟢ I Am Reading 25 Books in 2025

See my last post for a recap of the year so far in books! Here's the list of books I'm currently working through and hoping to finish soon:

• The Story of Knights and Armor | by Ernest E Tucker (A book I read as a kid while homeschooling - I remembering liking it a lot and decided to pick it up for nostalgia's sake and also because it's a pretty easy read to get me to my goal!)
• Tess of the d'Urbervilles | by Thomas Hardy (I found this at a book fair here in Saint Louis - I am only 3 chapters in but liking it so far!)
• Prayer in the Night: For Those Who Work or Watch or Weep | by Tish Harrison Warren (I had to read this one after loving Liturgy of the Ordinary so much. And already, this book has me tearing up numerous times already!)
• The Flourishing Family: A Jesus-Centered Guide to Parenting with Peace and Purpose | by David Erickson (I followed them on Instagram while back because they aligned with my views on not spanking children, among many other parenting values that I hold to - this is a very hyped book that I'm very excited to get into. So far I have just read the intro!)
• The Witch of Blackbird Pond | by Elizabeth George Speare (This is a favorite from when I was a teenager. I'm reading this with my "book friend", we meet on Mondays!)
• The Lord of the Rings: Part One: The Fellowship of the Ring | By J. R. R. Tolkien (I'm reading this through with a few girlfriends! It has been very nostalgic and a great path down memory lane because I have only read the series once when I was a teenager!)
• Mansfield Park | by Jane Austen (I'm probably going to finish this one next - I have been "speed reading" it to get through it in order to move on to Tess mentioned above. I plan to watch the movie when finished! Or is it a series? I don't actually know, LOL!)
• Scarlet (The Lunar Chronicles, #2) | by Marissa Meyer (I'm having a hard time getting into this one. I'm not sure if I'll finish it honestly!)
• Show Them Jesus: Teaching the Gospel to Kids | by Jack Klumpenhower (re-reading this with my hubby!)
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents (this one goes without sayin', you can just look at some of my recent posts for context, LOL!)
• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work | by John M. Gottman (Ok, I like this book... but the amount of exercises is annoying and a little daunting. I just wanted to read something and didn't want or need something so hands on, and frankly that's making it take a long time to get through! Time will tell if it's overall worth it...)

While enjoying a Nitro Cold Brew from Course Coffee Roasters in St. Charles!

I have a few more books planned to read as well as some of these reach completion, but I will discuss those probably in a future post this year!

Ok, now for a few shorter updates (aka "shorties")!

⟢ Life With Malachi (aka "Poobiss")

"Poobiss" is the nickname we have given our son. He will be 2 this month! Every day is an adventure, and it feels like he picks up new abilities and developments every day! The latest fun quirk... he has started pretending his morning banana is a plane by swooshing it into the sky with his hand and making an airplane sound! 

⟢ Making Lots of Sourdough Bread

Behold my newest food-related hobby! I picked this up about a year ago. I will have a post coming up soon in which I describe my current routine! But for now, I'll share one of my recent loaves: 

I'm still working on my scoring -- but look at that crusty crust!!

⟢ Experimenting with Coffee Syrups / At-Home Brewing

Since quitting the job, one of the ways we are saving money is by making our coffee drinks at home. I have a method for making an at-home latte with the Aeropress. But syrups are really where I can be creative! Here is one of the recent recipes I came up with, I'm not sure what to call it, but it reminds me of a cookie of some sort!

1 cup cane sugar

1 cup water

2-3 tbsp (to taste) molasses

2-3 tsp (to taste) vanilla

1-2 tsp (to taste - not too much because it easily overpowers) almond extract

pinch cinnamon

Place over low heat on the stovetop and let it sit for at least 4 hours. The longer the better!

As you can see, the measurements are very much adjustable to your preference, the main portion to stay accurate is the sugar and water, because this is the simple syrup base. Everything else is just flavoring!

⟢ Art

I have been wanting to practice art more, especially with different mediums than I have historically used. My favorites in the past is vine charcoal and pencil. But this year I started trying to be more colorful, having bought a box of Crayola pencils and crayons! And very different as well, when I made my 2025 vision board collage, which was done with layers of magazine paper. Here are a few recent pieces: 

Made with crayons

Pumpkins! Made with colored pencil

The Vision Board I mentioned :)

I should mention the orange piece and the pumpkin piece were made from pieces I found online, and were copied freehand by me. 

I will wrap up this post with a few movies my husband and I watched together recently: 

⟢ Movies

- 10 Things I Hate About You

- Interstellar

- Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

- Freaky Friday

- Enchanted

- Spy Kids

There you have it! A glimpse into my life. Heaven knows there is plenty more I could have included. 

I will be back soon, with another post. Until next time - 

- Amaris ☆ //

The Year So Far (In Books)!

Before 2025, it was a hot minute since I was actively reading books. It's sad, I know. I was sad whenever I thought about it! I knew, something has to change. I used to love reading. Why can I never find the time? 

So, I set an ambitious goal for myself. "I, Amaris, WILL read 25 books in 2025". 

I am proud to say that, according to my Goodreads data, I am "2 books ahead of schedule" so far this year!

Below are the books I've read so far, and my thoughts on them. I hope you are inspired in your own reading journey!

Liturgy of the Ordinary | Tish Harrison Warren

Finished: January 1st, 2025 (most of the reading was done in 2024, and I was surprised by finishing it on the 1st of the year, to give myself a head start on the count!)

My Rating: ★★★★★

This book is so golden. The perfect read for slowing down and appreciating life and all the presence of GOD it contains. The author walks through various hum-drum ordinary life occurrences, habits, and rituals and views them through the lens of God's perfect love and plan for us. When I'm tempted to be bored, I will remember this book and that boredom is where GOD can be seen and heard the most! It had me tearing up at it's beauty. 

The False Prince | Jennifer A. Nielsen

Finished: February 17th, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★☆

I thought this was a second read-through, but after looking at more data on Goodreads, apparently this was my THIRD read through. That should tell you at least that it's good enough for a second read! I think, at my age, the teenage suspense doesn't quite hit the same as it used to, but I still really enjoyed it. And it's still has one of my favorite plot twists!

Till We Have Faces: A Myth Retold | C.S. Lewis

Finished: March 9th, 2025

My Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I couldn't get behind this book. I had heard so many good things about it, even from some that it was Lewis' "best work ever" and I couldn't agree at all! It was too weird, too unsatisfying, I even tried to do some internet searching to find out more about the original myth to try to get some context, but it didn't help things. I don't know how true it is, but I heard that Lewis' friend Tolkien tried to convince him to not publish it, and I can't help but agree. I can't say it was all bad. Honestly the first half of the book was very promising, but the second half fell so short of that it was like a different book. 

The Rosie Project | Graeme Simsion 

Finished: March 17th, 2025

My Rating: ★★★☆☆

This was such a fun read! I read this book with a friend of mine. We meet on Monday evenings and read through books together. This one had us captivated, laughing, and even almost tearing up with the romance at times! There are two caveat's to this: I (my friend and I both) HATED the conclusion! It was so confusing unnecessarily! We even tried to Google more info after the book was over to get more info, and the internet is annoyed as we were. The other note is, this book is a very easy fun read. As in, light reading or Hallmark Channel vibes. But, it wasn't completely cheesy and the characters I felt actually had some decent depth. It really depends if that's your thing. All in all my friend and I really enjoyed. 

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times | Katherine May

Finished: March 19th, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★★

Review from my Goodreads: I adored this book. It nourished my mind the way a breath of fresh air heals my soul. How much more poignant were her chapters that I was able to read each one according to the season it was written for! The book goes through chapters of September through late March and I managed to read each one during it appropriate time. This book carried me through winter in many ways. “Nature shows that survival is a practice. Sometimes it flourishes—lays on fat, garlands itself in leaves, makes abundant honey-and sometimes it pares back to the very basics of existence in order to keep living. It doesn't do this once, re-sentfully, assuming that one day it will get things right and everything will smooth out. It winters in cycles, again and again, forever and ever. It attends to this work each and every day. For plants and animals, winter is part of the job. The same is true for humans.”

Relational Intelligence: How Leaders Can Expand Their Influence Through a New Way of Being Smart | Steve Saccone

Finished: March 22nd, 2025

My Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

This book was, in a word, unhelpful. Insightful? Perhaps, a bit. But really unhelpful. He has great ideas but doesn't talk very much about how to implement them. There is zero practical help and no "how" to be found. Fun fact about this book in the challenge, I've actually been reading this book since 2021! That's how "bad" my reading had gotten. So as much as the book was not helpful, at least it felt satisfying to finish it once and for all!

Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? | Timothy J. Keller

Finished: May 1st, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★★

This was such a helpful and good book in so many ways. I personally picked up this book as recommended by a friend after I went no contact with a narcissistic family member. I had prior understanding of the basic doctrines of the concept of forgiveness, but this book made it all so much clearer to me as well as validated my decisions while helping me to search my heart to ensure I had actually forgiven. This is one of those books that I know I will return to again and again throughout my life as various things happen in which forgiveness is warranted. 

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth | Ina May Gaskin

Finished: May 8th, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★★

If I could go back in time and finish this book before I had my baby (who is almost two at this point in time), I know things would have been vastly different as far as my birth experience. This is a part of my life that I am grieving still, and learning to forgive myself and the people in my life at that time who contributed to the outcome of my birth experience. All that to say, I highly recommend this book to any and all childbearing age women who hope to birth, or are in a season of currently having children. Ina tackles every part of the birthing process in a way that is not fearful or daunting - but empowering and educating by sharing science backed research and history about the female body and it's amazing design to birth! Despite the birth trauma from my son, I am looking forward to rather than fearing my next birth!

Every Woman a Theologian: Know What You Believe. Live it Confidently. Communicate it Graciously | Phylicia D. Masonheimer

Finished: May 13th: 2025

My Rating: ★★★☆☆

I should correct the title to say something more like: "Every Woman a Theologian: Learn What You Believe, So You Can Live it Confidently and Communicate it Graciously" which I think would be more in line with what the book actually covered. It's a great reference point for the various fundamental doctrines of the Christian faith, which the author communicates in a concise and digestible way! It is a great starting point for any newer Christian. The book didn't cover much of the applicable, practical ways of "living out the theology" as her title suggests. I expected the book to cover first what the Christian life entails (theology wise), and then showing what that looks like in real life. I think if this was the case I would have liked it better and felt it more relevant to me. 

Rebecca | Daphne du Maurier

Finished: May 22nd, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★☆

From my Goodreads: I liked this book for the most part. At times it dragged with the main character’s constant inner thoughts, misgivings, and insecurities which could be frustrating… BUT it was written very beautifully and with the feeling of such delicious suspense that I felt ultimately paid off.

My main disappointment was the lack of a more satisfying aftermath or conclusion, as well as most of the characters annoyed me and felt one dimensional (Maxim, I REALLY wanted to fell head over heels for Maxim’s character… how much better would this book have been if the author could’ve shown us more to love in him like the main character saw - ***SPOILER*** all of this with the murder aside of course*** END OF SPOILER***). 

What’s more, even the main character’s “depth” was really just layers of self-pity and low self-esteem.

I actually liked her a little toward the end of the book, when she finally showed some boldness and spoke her mind “after all, I am the new Mrs. de Winter”. But alas, that version of her only appeared for such a short time that it hardly made a difference in helping me like her.

All in all it was a pretty OK book and I would recommend it as a classic read.

The Bridges of Madison County | Robert James Waller

Finished: May 28th, 2025

My Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

BOOOOOooo cheating! This book was just bad. It was like the author decided to publish his personal journal fantasy in order to imagine himself as a hunky photographer stud that makes love to random lonely and bored housewives on road trips who regret their life (and husband) choices. It was basically a romanticization of cheating. Moving on.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers | Karyl McBride

Finished: May 28th, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★★

From my Goodreads: When I told my friend that I had gone no-contact with my narcissistic mother and how hard that journey was for me, she handed me this book and said “read this, I’ve cried many tears onto the pages of this book, and I hope it will help you as much as it helps me.” my response: “I will add my tears on top of yours!” And that’s exactly what happened. 

This book is by far one of the best things that has helped me heal as an adult daughter of an emotionally immature mother. If I could take the face of every struggling adult daughter in this same situation in my hands and tell them “you are good enough, you can do this!” And hand them this book I would. I would tell them you deserve so much more, you deserve to heal for yourself and you deserve to heal for your family. You are not your mother and you can get past this!

The author leaves no aspect of our complex and emotionally difficult situation untouched. She covers the relationship between daughter and mother during childhood, the effect of the mother’s behavior on the rest of the family, different types of resulting adults based on childhood (the high achieving daughter, self sabotaging daughter, etc.). How to begin recovery, how to go through the grieving process, how to avoid becoming like your mother, and ending the narcissistic legacy. 

I wish I had had this book a year ago when I first went no contact, it would’ve helped so much with my feeling of loss, grief, and struggle of how to proceed in that new beginning. Going through the activities in this book might be one of the hardest things you do, but it would be so worth it. 

My plan is to immediately start the book again with highlighters, pens, and a journal to get the absolute most out of this wonderfully validating and helpful book!

Well, there you have it folks! The Year So Far in Books! Please let me know if you have read any of the above works, and if you agree or disagree with my thoughts on any of them! 

I didn't plan to take such a long hiatus from blogging (last post being January and it's now May), but I hope to post some life updates soon. Farewell in the meantime!

- Amaris ☆ //