Praise Jesus But CURSE THE PALM LEAVES!!!

 Just a couple things to let you know that I'm a little weird and I like to laugh at myself, and you may as well.

(a.k.a. just a bunch of interesting things that happened to me and now I'm putting them into a blog post. )

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~So, to begin: a friend of mine was talking to me about how she had a rottweiler who was afraid of thunderstorms. She was telling me the whole story, but my attention began to wander as I was thinking to myself: "Wait... rottweiler... what does a rottweiler look like? Oh, I can't remember. I'm terrible with dog flavors."
Dog flavors.
I called them... flavors. 

#me: don't you mean dog breeds, amaris
#my brain: lol no it's flavors
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~So typewriters are interesting because if you have a manual one such as I, then you have to press pretty hard onto the keys to get them to type. There's no problem there, but the issue comes when I get on the computer right after typing on the typewriter and I find myself Ty ping RE A LLY HA R D on ThE keybOARD an d pUN chIng tHeM just liKE I d o ON MY TYpe wR ITER. And my mom comes over and she's like "Why are you banging on those computer keys...?"

Oh. Sorry, mom.
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~When EVERYONE around me (literally everyone I know at work, at home, at my church...) is getting sick with the same thing, but somehow I don't get it, and I still don't get it, and I STILL DON'T GET IT after 2 months of being exposed again and again, so finally one day I say to my mom: "I guess I'm not going to get sick, then."

AND THE VERY NEXT DAY GUESS WHAT HAPPENS.

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~One day I was just minding my own business when out of the corner of my ear in the other room I hear my mom say to one of my siblings "No, dear, you may not watch Netflix in the bathroom".

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~I get this idea to put two fuzzy pom poms in my hair to look like ears. It turned out pretty cute, so the next day my sister decides to do it too after I show her how, and then she takes a picture of herself and sends it to all her friends and they all reply to her with stuff like:
"Oh, that's so cute! What a good idea! So creative! You are so smart and creative for thinking of that!"

And I'm over here like:

 

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~So I looked at the clock a little while ago after a long day when I'm really tired and it says 11:00 p.m. So  I think: "Oh, look. It's eleventeen."
I called it eleventeen.
 Heh. Hehe.
(I was pretty tired, folks).

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~So you might know already that I work in customer service and I meet all kinds of people and the thing that's awkward is WHEN I'M TALKING TO A REALLY NICE CUSTOMER AND THEY ARE MAKING ME LAUGH AND THEY ARE JUST SO FUNNY, BUT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR STORY THEY SAY THE F WORD LIKE IT'S NOTHING, AND I'M STILL LAUGHING AT THEIR STORY BUT INSIDE I'M DYING BECAUSE THEY SAID THE F WORD AND I'M LAUGHING AT IT, EVEN THOUGH THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M LAUGHING AT.

#whyyyy

Update: So I told this story to my uncle, and when I finished he just looks at me and says: "You know you're going to Hell, right?"
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~So it's been nice the past few days (you know, because of Spring and all...) so on one of those nice days me and my family go shopping and we come to this loooooong strip mall (It's literally like 1 mile long) and we park FAR away because "Hey, it's a nice day and we need the exercise", so we walk and walk and WALK to one of the stores and we have a great time in the store, and somehow it got really windy while we were in there, so by the time we got out of the store, it was FREEZING because of the chilly wind, and none of us had coats and we had like 4 (extremely heavy) shopping bags per person and so we begin the agonizing 20 minute walk back to the car and in between shivers I'm just like "whose..... idea......was......this......"
It was a fun day, tho.
*shrug*
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~So  lately for some reason, every time I drink water out of a water bottle, I splash water all over the front of my shirt, so there's water drops and sploshes all over me until I air dry. So the other day at work, I opened my bottle and spilled especially much all over my shirt, and I just looked at myself and the helpless mess I was in, and I looked up and realized that my coworker saw what I did and she just looked at my shirt and then looked at my face and before she said anything I was just like, "Don't. Say. A word."
And she just kind of. Backs. Away.
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~Like I said up there, I work in customer service, and the other day I after I finished helping a lady out, she picked up her things to go on her way and before she left, she said, "Thank you, son."
Son. 
I don't know if she just didn't realize what she said, or if she actually thought I looked like a boy or what,
but...
 She called me son.
And I've always seen myself as the feminine one in the family. *shrug*
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The other day I was cracking some eggs, and after I cracked one of them, I tried to throw the shell across the room (because I am the epitome of gracious housekeeping) into the trash can, but alas, I missed. With my hands being tied up in what I was doing, I told myself I would pick up the egg shell in a minute. Well, I forgot to.
An hour later, I went into my bedroom to find crushed egg shell pieces chewed up all over my bed, PLUS my bed (which had been neatly made before) was all messed up with the shell pieces strewn all around.
Needless to say, my poor dog got yelled at.
#even though I knew it was my fault because I left the egg shell there practically as an open invitation for him to chew it
#whyamaris
#why
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And the last thing I have to mention is not very funny, but it's stupid of me just the same, so I have to share it because it kind of explains the title of this post. You all know that we just had Palm Sunday. And of course my church, like many churches, hands out palm leaves to everyone to praise Jesus with. Well, for some reason, this year I had a terrible allergic reaction to the palm leaves.
 I don't know if these were extra dusty or if they had mold on them this year, or what, but at the beginning of the service my noes was itching me like crazy, and by the time we were halfway through the service, my nose was so bad I had to blow it like every 5 minutes and my sister just looked at me like I was nuts because I was blowing so often and then this lady two rows up looked back at me every time I blew, like I was the most disruptive 19-year-old she had ever seen in a church and then this little girl next to me dropped her crayons all over the floor during the sermon and later a 2 year old yelled at me and afterward in the car I sprained my back taking my jacket off.
So if anyone asks you how my Palm Sunday went, you can tell them this.
But I had tacos later, which was great.
Anyways, the moral of the story is: Praise Jesus but CURSE THOSE PALM LEAVES!
(except... don't actually curse. Cursing is rude.)
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Bye now.

-Amaris

p.s. This is my 50th post. Hooray for me.