December 10th, 2014
10:26pm | Wednesday
This morning I got up around 8 but stayed in my room until 10 because the ADT security guy was here reinstalling some equipment, and I wasn't dressed. I read chapters 2-4 of Jane Eyre. It's for my school literature. Before this, I did Trusting GOD, and afterwards, I will do The Scarlet Pimpernel.
I love books and writing, and I consider myself a word-hoarder. I look up words and ponder what they mean. And when the time comes, I use it. One of my favorite words in my mind is nostalgia. Basically, it means fondly remembering a past time and wishing you were still experiencing it.
For example, I feel nostalgic about last summer. The summer of 2013. All summer long I read books and looked up words. It wasn't a hot summer. There were flowers, and green grass. There were stars.
This past 2014 summer, I did crafts and stories and Pinterest, pretty much. It was a fun time. Also Anne of Green Gables series. Winter isn't so bad, though. Sure, it is bleak and forlorn, but those aren't bad things are they? No...
But still, I am already looking forward to the spring storms. Those dark blue skies. Those turned up leaves. That delicious stormy smell!
Nostalgia.
I refuse to listen to Narnia or the Lord of the Rings music until I can walk outside again. I've been walking quietly up and down my hallway. I'm playing soundtracks on the piano, but I wont listen to them until spring. I've been listening to Owl City lately. Since last Christmas that's been pretty much how it has been. Owl City in Winter (I like listening to him better when I'm depressed; which I often am in the Winter), and soundtracks (and writing tutorials!) in Spring and Summer, walking through the green.
By that time, I will have ahad a birthday in January. I'll be Seventeen.
Seventeen.
Seems pretty old. At least it did a few years ago.
Sometimes I can feel my youth slipping through my hands. I know I sound like an old woman when I say that, but it's true. In ten years, I will miss those days with a nostalgic sorriow that cannot be quenced. So I am enjoying my youth as much as I can. Of course, that will make the time pass all the faster.
Just like this summer. I was so relieved to welcome it back only. just a few seconds ago, and now it's gone forever. I'll never get it back.
But it is a pleasant feeling, remembering those times reading about Anne Shirley (Blythe!), and storing up words in my little jewel box of knowledge.
I know I will grow old all too soon. For now, I admire my hands. How smooth they are! Not a single wrinkle. And my face. My shoulders...
All so shapely and beautiful.
Us human beings truly are fearfully and wonderfully made.
I pray to justify my growing elderliness.
-Amaris ☆ //
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