The Year So Far (In Books)!

Before 2025, it was a hot minute since I was actively reading books. It's sad, I know. I was sad whenever I thought about it! I knew, something has to change. I used to love reading. Why can I never find the time? 

So, I set an ambitious goal for myself. "I, Amaris, WILL read 25 books in 2025". 

I am proud to say that, according to my Goodreads data, I am "2 books ahead of schedule" so far this year!

Below are the books I've read so far, and my thoughts on them. I hope you are inspired in your own reading journey!

Liturgy of the Ordinary | Tish Harrison Warren

Finished: January 1st, 2025 (most of the reading was done in 2024, and I was surprised by finishing it on the 1st of the year, to give myself a head start on the count!)

My Rating: ★★★★★

This book is so golden. The perfect read for slowing down and appreciating life and all the presence of GOD it contains. The author walks through various hum-drum ordinary life occurrences, habits, and rituals and views them through the lens of God's perfect love and plan for us. When I'm tempted to be bored, I will remember this book and that boredom is where GOD can be seen and heard the most! It had me tearing up at it's beauty. 

The False Prince | Jennifer A. Nielsen

Finished: February 17th, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★☆

I thought this was a second read-through, but after looking at more data on Goodreads, apparently this was my THIRD read through. That should tell you at least that it's good enough for a second read! I think, at my age, the teenage suspense doesn't quite hit the same as it used to, but I still really enjoyed it. And it's still has one of my favorite plot twists!

Till We Have Faces: A Myth Retold | C.S. Lewis

Finished: March 9th, 2025

My Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I couldn't get behind this book. I had heard so many good things about it, even from some that it was Lewis' "best work ever" and I couldn't agree at all! It was too weird, too unsatisfying, I even tried to do some internet searching to find out more about the original myth to try to get some context, but it didn't help things. I don't know how true it is, but I heard that Lewis' friend Tolkien tried to convince him to not publish it, and I can't help but agree. I can't say it was all bad. Honestly the first half of the book was very promising, but the second half fell so short of that it was like a different book. 

The Rosie Project | Graeme Simsion 

Finished: March 17th, 2025

My Rating: ★★★☆☆

This was such a fun read! I read this book with a friend of mine. We meet on Monday evenings and read through books together. This one had us captivated, laughing, and even almost tearing up with the romance at times! There are two caveat's to this: I (my friend and I both) HATED the conclusion! It was so confusing unnecessarily! We even tried to Google more info after the book was over to get more info, and the internet is annoyed as we were. The other note is, this book is a very easy fun read. As in, light reading or Hallmark Channel vibes. But, it wasn't completely cheesy and the characters I felt actually had some decent depth. It really depends if that's your thing. All in all my friend and I really enjoyed. 

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times | Katherine May

Finished: March 19th, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★★

Review from my Goodreads: I adored this book. It nourished my mind the way a breath of fresh air heals my soul. How much more poignant were her chapters that I was able to read each one according to the season it was written for! The book goes through chapters of September through late March and I managed to read each one during it appropriate time. This book carried me through winter in many ways. “Nature shows that survival is a practice. Sometimes it flourishes—lays on fat, garlands itself in leaves, makes abundant honey-and sometimes it pares back to the very basics of existence in order to keep living. It doesn't do this once, re-sentfully, assuming that one day it will get things right and everything will smooth out. It winters in cycles, again and again, forever and ever. It attends to this work each and every day. For plants and animals, winter is part of the job. The same is true for humans.”

Relational Intelligence: How Leaders Can Expand Their Influence Through a New Way of Being Smart | Steve Saccone

Finished: March 22nd, 2025

My Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

This book was, in a word, unhelpful. Insightful? Perhaps, a bit. But really unhelpful. He has great ideas but doesn't talk very much about how to implement them. There is zero practical help and no "how" to be found. Fun fact about this book in the challenge, I've actually been reading this book since 2021! That's how "bad" my reading had gotten. So as much as the book was not helpful, at least it felt satisfying to finish it once and for all!

Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? | Timothy J. Keller

Finished: May 1st, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★★

This was such a helpful and good book in so many ways. I personally picked up this book as recommended by a friend after I went no contact with a narcissistic family member. I had prior understanding of the basic doctrines of the concept of forgiveness, but this book made it all so much clearer to me as well as validated my decisions while helping me to search my heart to ensure I had actually forgiven. This is one of those books that I know I will return to again and again throughout my life as various things happen in which forgiveness is warranted. 

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth | Ina May Gaskin

Finished: May 8th, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★★

If I could go back in time and finish this book before I had my baby (who is almost two at this point in time), I know things would have been vastly different as far as my birth experience. This is a part of my life that I am grieving still, and learning to forgive myself and the people in my life at that time who contributed to the outcome of my birth experience. All that to say, I highly recommend this book to any and all childbearing age women who hope to birth, or are in a season of currently having children. Ina tackles every part of the birthing process in a way that is not fearful or daunting - but empowering and educating by sharing science backed research and history about the female body and it's amazing design to birth! Despite the birth trauma from my son, I am looking forward to rather than fearing my next birth!

Every Woman a Theologian: Know What You Believe. Live it Confidently. Communicate it Graciously | Phylicia D. Masonheimer

Finished: May 13th: 2025

My Rating: ★★★☆☆

I should correct the title to say something more like: "Every Woman a Theologian: Learn What You Believe, So You Can Live it Confidently and Communicate it Graciously" which I think would be more in line with what the book actually covered. It's a great reference point for the various fundamental doctrines of the Christian faith, which the author communicates in a concise and digestible way! It is a great starting point for any newer Christian. The book didn't cover much of the applicable, practical ways of "living out the theology" as her title suggests. I expected the book to cover first what the Christian life entails (theology wise), and then showing what that looks like in real life. I think if this was the case I would have liked it better and felt it more relevant to me. 

Rebecca | Daphne du Maurier

Finished: May 22nd, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★☆

From my Goodreads: I liked this book for the most part. At times it dragged with the main character’s constant inner thoughts, misgivings, and insecurities which could be frustrating… BUT it was written very beautifully and with the feeling of such delicious suspense that I felt ultimately paid off.

My main disappointment was the lack of a more satisfying aftermath or conclusion, as well as most of the characters annoyed me and felt one dimensional (Maxim, I REALLY wanted to fell head over heels for Maxim’s character… how much better would this book have been if the author could’ve shown us more to love in him like the main character saw - ***SPOILER*** all of this with the murder aside of course*** END OF SPOILER***). 

What’s more, even the main character’s “depth” was really just layers of self-pity and low self-esteem.

I actually liked her a little toward the end of the book, when she finally showed some boldness and spoke her mind “after all, I am the new Mrs. de Winter”. But alas, that version of her only appeared for such a short time that it hardly made a difference in helping me like her.

All in all it was a pretty OK book and I would recommend it as a classic read.

The Bridges of Madison County | Robert James Waller

Finished: May 28th, 2025

My Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

BOOOOOooo cheating! This book was just bad. It was like the author decided to publish his personal journal fantasy in order to imagine himself as a hunky photographer stud that makes love to random lonely and bored housewives on road trips who regret their life (and husband) choices. It was basically a romanticization of cheating. Moving on.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers | Karyl McBride

Finished: May 28th, 2025

My Rating: ★★★★★

From my Goodreads: When I told my friend that I had gone no-contact with my narcissistic mother and how hard that journey was for me, she handed me this book and said “read this, I’ve cried many tears onto the pages of this book, and I hope it will help you as much as it helps me.” my response: “I will add my tears on top of yours!” And that’s exactly what happened. 

This book is by far one of the best things that has helped me heal as an adult daughter of an emotionally immature mother. If I could take the face of every struggling adult daughter in this same situation in my hands and tell them “you are good enough, you can do this!” And hand them this book I would. I would tell them you deserve so much more, you deserve to heal for yourself and you deserve to heal for your family. You are not your mother and you can get past this!

The author leaves no aspect of our complex and emotionally difficult situation untouched. She covers the relationship between daughter and mother during childhood, the effect of the mother’s behavior on the rest of the family, different types of resulting adults based on childhood (the high achieving daughter, self sabotaging daughter, etc.). How to begin recovery, how to go through the grieving process, how to avoid becoming like your mother, and ending the narcissistic legacy. 

I wish I had had this book a year ago when I first went no contact, it would’ve helped so much with my feeling of loss, grief, and struggle of how to proceed in that new beginning. Going through the activities in this book might be one of the hardest things you do, but it would be so worth it. 

My plan is to immediately start the book again with highlighters, pens, and a journal to get the absolute most out of this wonderfully validating and helpful book!

Well, there you have it folks! The Year So Far in Books! Please let me know if you have read any of the above works, and if you agree or disagree with my thoughts on any of them! 

I didn't plan to take such a long hiatus from blogging (last post being January and it's now May), but I hope to post some life updates soon. Farewell in the meantime!

- Amaris ☆ //

well hello

Hello everyone. 

I have no idea if anyone still reads my blog. 

I don't know why anyone ever did. I certainly don't have anything to say. It's always ever only been for fun that I write on here. 

Something to say or not, here I am yet again. 

It's been awhile. 

There are a few questions people have been asking me when they haven't seen me for awhile. For the sake of this post, we'll pretend you're the friend.

how have you been doing with this *virus thing* //

Unpopular opinion - the "Coronavirus" is just the/a flu. It's nothing special. It's not very deadly. It's not worth all the shutdowns. It's not worth all the fear. It's not worth all the lost businesses and jobs. It's not worth the New World Order.

"But people are dying"

Yeah. People have always died. 

It's what they do.

where are you working these days //

I don't know if I ever actually 'told' my Blog that I got a job at The Home Depot in August of 2019. When The Virus happened, I continued to work, because you know... "Essential Retailer" and all that. Still working there. Good company. Best pay I've ever made at any job, best career opportunities I've ever personally been exposed to. We'll see where that goes. Worked a lot during the first shutdown of April 2020. Worked 90 hours one week, actually. That was a blast (no sarcasm. I actually had a lot of fun working the craziness that week. Plus, overtime. Yay)

Also in 2019 (November) I got hired at a bowling ally. But I consider it a side hustle. Especially since bowling allies are open and shut all the time in 2020 because of *restrictions*. I have spent weeks, even months, at a time not working there this year. But I always come back. It's a great fun place to make a little side cash. 

is God still important to you //

When the Whole World shut down in April, I stopped going to church. Because of all the working I didn't have time/didn't make time to read my Bible as well. Bad idea. "Drifted away" a little bit there. But I never stopped believing, and I never stopped trusting that He has a plan and was taking care of me. 

But it was a little hard to notice Him and think about Him when I wasn't constantly reminding myself with church fellowship and scripture. These days things are a little better,  and I now make more time for Him. Found a new/better church family. I even study the Bible sometimes. It's been pretty good.

Here's a verse. 

Psalm 51:1-2

Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;

According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

how's the mental health //

Icky. But I've got a few things in the works to help with that.

read any good books lately //

Working on Atomic Habits, by James Clear. Really, really good book. Finished The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek by my favorite internet comedy duo, Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal. Not a bad book but you can tell that Rhett and Link don't write novels for a living. 

If I finish Atomic Habits by New Years, I will have read those two books this year. 

I don't think I'm going to make it. 

So.. one book in 2020. 

watched anything notable //

Nothing very notable so far this year. 2020 was filled with The Office background noise coming from the MacBook Air sitting on my bedroom desk as I fell asleep. A few months back, I did watch Breaking Bad. How was that? Riveting. Tremendous. All the best adjectives. 

anything else //

I have 11 house plants in my room. Some are dying. Most are easy to care for, so they're thriving. The Pothos are doing great, as is the Camille. The Dumb Cane, I'm afraid, is suffering and may have to be put out of her misery soon....

Someone asked me to be their girlfriend for the first time in my life. He is a good man, so I said yes. I guess I'm in a relationship as of November 2, 2020.

I went to four weddings this year between the dates of September 17 and November 28. I haven't been to very many weddings but now I guess I can't say that. I can even say I've been to a Halloween wedding. That was pretty fun.

Well, that's about it. So much has happened this year but I can't think of anything short enough to put in this post. I don't want to get all long and ramble-y with it.

There's so many things I could say. 

So many things I could thank God for. 

I worked hard.

I discovered new music.

I got 4 wisdom teeth out.

I got chicken pox.

Found some new restaurants (ironically, considering the shutdowns).

I made new friends.

I got my heart broken. 

I learned some valuable lessons.

I learned the value of true friendship (a rather cliché statement fit for a Hallmark movie ending, I know).

I guess this is my New Years post for 2020. 

Thanks for reading.

Until next time...

-Amaris

Sunshine Blogger Award ☆ (warning : wordy)

Hello, friends!
Emily from Altogether Unexpected tagged me for the Sunshine Blogger Award! I kind of feel like I've maybe done this tag before, but I don't really care if I have because, 1. I'm too lazy to search my published posts and see if any post comes up under "sunshine", and 2. I wouldn't care anyways because the questions change with each blogger!
With that said, here we go!

Below are the rules for this award:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them. See above! :)
2. List the rules and display an award logo on your blog post.
3. Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you.
4. Nominate 11 new blogs to receive the award and notify them by commenting on any of their posts. I can already tell you it's not going to be 11 bloggers XD
   
5. Ask the nominees 11 new questions.

The Questions:

In what city were you born?
St. Louis, born & raised, and still living here. I've always liked STL!

Which book made you a bibliophile?
All of them. Haha, just kidding. But for real, there was no single book that created a love for reading in me. My love for books really began to take off when I was around 12-14, and some of the most notable books that I enjoyed during that time were the Anne of Green Gables series (which I adored), The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and Elizabeth George Speare's books (she only wrote four in her lifetime.. which I am forever remorseful about).

Photo Credit: Me

What is your favorite film?
FOR-REST. GUMP. (*claps on each syllable for emphasis*)
Seriously tho, it's the best, in my opinion. At least so far. There are so many amazing movies out there that I have yet to see.

What is your favorite Bible verse?
I don't really have one specific verse. The LORD has used so many unique and wonderful passages in my life during the last few months to speak to me in a special way.
A few that have been close to my heart lately are:

The righteous cry, and the LORD hears
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:17-18

Many plans are in a man's heart,
But the counsel of the LORD will stand.
Proverbs 19:21

Photo Credit: Me

Favorite episode of Sherlock? (I know you have all seen it)
UUugh I can't even really talk about my favorite episode cause I know I'm gonna spoil it.   O.o
But I loooove the one in Series 4: The Lying Detective. I haven't seen that particular episode in awhile but the acting is so brilliant and the plot so riveting it gives me chills just remembering it. The Final Problem was also astounding. Stunning. Awesome. Just... all the amazing adjectives. Bless that show.

First foreign country?
I haven't traveled much; I went to Niagara Falls when I was, like, 5. So, Canada. That's it. I'd love to go to Paris someday.

Favorite food?
That's a very hard question! I have many foods I like. The LORD has been laying it on my heart to eat healthier the past few months, so my tastes have all rather changed! I still love me a good bowl of ice cream. And I've been cooking more, so homemade foods are always good. I love cooking with limes. Just, anything that has lime juice in it, I love.

British accents or Scottish accents?
I can't really say because I haven't heard enough of Scottish to distinguish it from British. I can tell you this, however: whenever I watch a show with a British accent I have to put on subtitles. *shrug*

First Marvel film?
I tried Captain America a few years ago and *hated* it. In fact, I kinda hate the whole Marvel franchise. I feel like it's just a big money-maker anyways. But there are some things I like. Spider-Man, for one. Take any Spider-Man and I could watch it on any evening chilling at my apartment and that would be an enjoyable time for me. Any other Marvel movie.. can't say the same thing.
But anyways, to answer the question, the first Marvel movie was Captain America, but the first one I liked was the first Spider-Man with Tobey Maguire.

Who is your favorite British actor/actress?
Aiden Turner // Ross Poldark. I never thought he was great as Kili, and then when I saw him as Ross I was absolutely sure of it. The man was BORN to play Ross. UuGgh I just get chills thinking of how freaking good he is as Ross. Let me put it this way; you haven't gotten the full Aiden Turner experience until you've seen him as Ross Poldark.
With that being said, here are a few notable others:
Helena Bonham Carter (A dazzling and uniquely lovely woman of the industry)
Benedict Cumberbatch (because Sherlock and The Imitation Game)
Among others. I know I'm probably forgetting a few that I love.

Photo Credit: Me

When did you start blogging, and why?
When I was around 16-17, my best friend told me about Hayden Wand's then current blog, The Story Girl. If you can believe it, at the time I didn't really know what a blog was. But I started reading Hayden's and soon others, and became fascinated with the book-reading, period drama-watching, story-writing girls who put their thoughts and little tags on blogs to share with their small corners of the internet world. I thought "I like to write, I like to read, I like period dramas. This looks rather fun, I could do it." I was a bit nervous to start and wanted my writing to be like everyone else' I read, so I set everything up and published my first post in September of 2015 (here it is if you're interested notice how much different and rather fake and airy the writing is compared to now because back then I was writing like all the blogs I loved because I didn't know how to express my own voice [which I'm still learning, btw]).
So yeah. I've been blogging since without being consistent at all, but I think I've come a long way, and I'm happy with my current 30 followers. It's never been about numbers for me; I definitely wanted the bloggers I loved most to love my blog (namely Naomi Sarah from Wonderland Creek and Hayden Wand from her blog back then The Story Girl), but as the years have gone by and God has taught me many things about the various social medias I have been apart of, it doesn't really matter who loves me or my writing and who doesn't.
I'm blogging and writing what I want to say because I enjoy it and God sometimes speaks to my heart things to write. Maybe you're encouraged by what you read here, maybe you're not. I will keep blogging until the LORD says stop. <3

Well that turned into a huge backstory, haha.

But anywho, that is the end of the list of questions from Emily! Thank you again, Emily! :)

For this award, I nominate:
Tessa // This Great Adventure
Natalie // Starry Eyes
Abbie // Chronicles in Bloom
Lissa // An Attempt to be Classic
Mary Liz // Sunshine and Scribblings
Rachel // A Girl's Place

I'm very behind on my blog-reading (I've got all I can handle just to post on my own blog every once in awhile, haha), so I don't know if any of the above bloggers have answered the questions for this award before! If you have, feel free to skip. Or you can do the award again with my questions!

Here are my 11 questions: 
1. What is your favorite season of the year and why?
2. What do you want to be "when you grow up"? (and if you're already grown up, what are you doing or what do you want to do someday?)
3. What's the most obscure and unique song you love to listen to?
4. Do you prefer sunshine or rain better? (I expect a detailed explanation as to why you feel the way you do! *insert intellectual emoji here*)
5. How do you usually listen to music (Spotify, YouTube, Google Play, Apple Music, etc.)?
6. Favorite black-and-white 'old timey' movie?
7. A fun fact that most people don't know about you?
8. Best memory of 2019 so far?
9. What's your favorite thing to do on the internet?
10. What's the longest you've ever gone without internet?
11. What's the most obscure piece of information you remember from school?

Photo Credit: Me

~ Amaris // ☆

The Flower Fades

I don't know about the rest of you guys, but so far 2019 has been crazy for me. I don't mean bad, necessarily... well, a lot of it has been, unfortunately, bad. But a lot of it is good.
And a lot of it is neither good nor bad, just different.
I'm trying to keep up with it all, to be honest. 
There's too many changes.

The most recent change being... I lost my job at the embroidery place that I have worked for 2 years.
Oh, don't worry- I didn't get FIRED exactly. They just had to let me go because the business is (sadly) dying. Our owner was busy trying to run another business, and as a result we weren't able to get the maintenance we needed to fix certain issues that were keeping us from getting business, such as faulty phone lines, faulty (and very old) email accounts, our software which was infected with a virus, among other things.
It's a sad way to end, but that's the way it is sometimes.
Businesses die.
The strong becomes weak.
The rich become poor.
The first become last.

Everything changes.
Everything.

I think there's a sort of brain complex that people get- I'm not sure the psychological term (or if there even is one), but I feel like the human mind tends to think as if things will never change. Oh, we believe that change exists, and we even look forward to it at times. We are not surprised when the season of the year changes, or when we buy a new device, or when we get a new haircut. We look forward to and even plan for those changes.

But I think when certain things actually do change, we're caught off guard.
Especially when the things we thought never would change, do. Like relationships. You're with someone you love, and you imagine as you laugh together that things will always be this way. But chances are they won't. Time goes on and you watch them become a stranger. Changes like that are a unique level of pain. And yet, they are surprisingly freeing..?
I don't know. It's weird to think about.

Anyways, that's happened a lot with me this year. Literally every month so far in 2019, there has been a change so in my life. Some of them quite major.
Being let go of this job being one of the major ones, especially since it was unexpected.

There is a verse in the Bible that I think of during times of change.

"The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our GOD will stand forever." Isaiah 40:8

Rather poetic, isn't it? It is sad, yet hopeful. That is the way with most seasons of change. It is sad, and often a very difficult time, but where would we be if we never moved on? How would we learn, grow, and flourish, if we are never torn from our comfortable cubby holes? (am i channeling Gandalf's energy right now..? i don't know.. but if i am, it wouldn't be a bad thing).

Life isn't meant to stagnate. It's meant to flow and change course and ripple... like a stream on a spring day.

I will always look back fondly on that job. It wasn't even like a job. I never clock-watched there. I never wondered or waited impatiently for my "shift" to end because there were no shifts. I went to that old house in the morning and opened everything up, and at closing time I closed everything down and locked the door behind me. I didn't pay attention to the time there because I loved all my various tasks there and never wondered when or wished I would be finished.

If it was a slow day (the kind which increasingly grew towards the end of my employment), I would do my Bible study or read a book at the front counter, stashing it away if a customer came up the front steps.
While being employed there I went through some of the hardest times of my life, and some days I loved being at work more than I loved being at my own cramped home. They say home is where your heart is most happy and comfortable. If that is true, my job was my home.
So, in a way, I've left not two, but three homes in the last year and a half.
Take the emotional (and physical toll) that moving once puts on a person, and triple it. Now you can understand why my heart feels like I've lost a dear friend.

I'm only 21, but honestly I feel so old. 
What will I feel like at 71, I wonder.

I know I care about things too much. I put care and love into things and then it changes or gets taken away. Why do I do that to myself? It's as if I like letting myself down. To quote Michael Scott: "I am ready to get hurt again."

Last year, Owl City (one of my favorite musical artists since I was 16) finally came out with a new long- awaited album, Cinematic. One of the songs was "Firebird", and in it there is a lyric:

Tell me why I look back, and I want to cry,
Sometimes I feel like we grew up too fast.
 
You and I had the time of our younger lives,
Sometimes I sigh and think about the past.

But it's alright, 'cause everything changes.

If 2019 keeps up like this, I think I might have to name those lines the official lyrics to describe my 2019. We'll see when I post my new year's post in December. *shrug*

Well anyways.
I'm gonna end this post now. It's admittedly sappy and sad and if it's all the same to you I think I'll just post this and forget I ever wrote it.
It is a lovely evening. It's summertime and almost twilight and the sunlight is streaming through my window, casting golden stripes onto my stacks of books on top of my dresser. So I want to go take a walk in my backyard and enjoy the cool evening temperature.

Here's a picture if it seems like I'm just making the golden sunlight part up to sound even more sappy:

Goodbye, friends.

~ Amaris // ☆

Spring // 2019

I got to hang out with my best friend:
It was really good to connect again because our busy lives kept us apart for almost 3 months... which is too long. We also decided to read 'The Circle Series' at the same time (a re-read for me) so that we could compare opinions. It's quite a series to swallow, but I am excited to go through it again.

I went to my third ever baseball game and rather enjoyed it:
Watching baseball in real life is more fun than I remember, and definitely more fun than watching it on TV. Apparently the STL Cardinals haven't been doing well this season; but I wouldn't know. All I know is they creamed the opponent on the night I went with my mom and sister and it was very enjoyable.

I spent a lot of time sick:
I endured a miserable three weeks with nausea, constipation, and jaundice, and it eventually put me in the hospital. They never did figure out what it was, and I got better naturally soon after the hospital visit. Most of the doctors thought it was Hepatitis A, but every time they tested for that it was negative. I am feeling great and I'm back to normal now, so... whatever it was it's gone now *shrug*.

We moved:
This time last year we moved into an apartment, but but as soon as our one year lease was over in May, we moved to a slightly larger (and nicer) townhouse, which I'm very happy with. I have my own room again! And I have a perfect view of the Western sky, and have been enjoying the sunsets every evening I'm home. God has truly blessed me in many ways.

I watched some movies and shows:
Five Feet Apart (2019)
It was ok- but not great. Pretty cliche and melodramatic. I feel like I would've liked it better had I seen it when I was closer to 16, but I'm 21 and it didn't do much for me.

The Office (2005-2013)
Not the cleanest show, and I'll probably not re-watch certain episodes, but it's very funny and extremely quotable. I can see why millions of people like the show. I feel like it's almost worth a one time watch-thru at least. For appropriate audiences. Idk.

Breakthrough (2019)
It was ok. It was kinda surreal watching a movie about an event that happened very close to my own hometown. It wasn't great but it wasn't a bad movie altogether.

Julie & Julia (2009)
What a sweet and heartwarming movie!! I watched it late one night with my mom, who also loved it.  I love Amy Adams soo much! I don't love Meryl Streep as well but she was good in this movie. I think there was a few cuss words but definitely worth a watch.

Smokey & The Bandit (1977)
Kinda funny, a little bit exciting, a tiny bit sweet, overall not really my thing. Sally Field helped a bit, as she is one of my favorite actresses. Overall, probably won't watch again.

The Matrix (1999)
Very intriguing. It wasn't my type of movie, and it didn't "change my life" the way some male family members told me it would, but I can see why it was revolutionary for it's time and why it was a huge hit, and it did get me thinking a little bit. Also I'm a Keanu Reeves fan now. Bless.

The Founder (2016)
SO FRUSTRATING AND UNFAIR. But also good. I loved it an hated it. Ugh.

Julie & Julia (2009)

I started reading books again:
~The Complete Sherlock Holmes, Volume II - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (currently reading)
~Scarlet - Marissa Meyer (finished)
~Cress - Marissa Meyer (currently reading)
~Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl's Heart - Bethany Beal & Kristen Clark (currently reading)
~Conscience - Andrew David Naselli & J. D. Crowley (currently reading)
~Where We Belong - Lynn Austin (finished!) Here's a post about it.
~The Circle Series - Ted Dekker (just started)

I am writing VBS lessons:
My VBS partner and I will be teaching the VBS lessons at our church again this year- we are teaching from the book of Acts about Paul's second missionary journey! The theme of this year's VBS is Athens - so everything is Greek themed! We're going to wear togas and leaf headpieces. It's coming up soon.. on July 15th. I can't wait!

On June 19th, my favorite job I've ever held had to let me go:
A small post is coming soon about that.

I tried being positive:
A post is coming soon about that as well.

A Few Other Things:
~It rained a lot, and some tornadoes almost tore apart my city. But we survived.
~God is faithful when I am faithless. He's also unchanging.Thank God.
~I have the best friend I could ask for.
~I discovered arguably the greatest most practical YouTube channel for introverts and people with social anxiety (like me...): Charisma on Command. Check it out. The psychology is super intriguing. And there's a recent episode on Keanu Reeves and introversion... i am cri.
~God used 2 Samuel 11-12 and Psalm 32 to change my life.

Music:
~Bee Gees "Too Much Heaven". I love those chill vibes. ☀
~Studio Ghibli Piano Music. Perfect for taking a walk with a twilight sunset.
~BTS "Make It Right". Pretty much any BTS song is guaranteed good vibes.
~Queen "Spread Your Wings". A newly 'discovered' Queen song for me.

Spring Words:
Sunsets
Crescents
Chills
Chopin
Ablaze
Golden
Quiet
Change
Wait

☆ // Amaris // ☆

How was your Spring? Did you do anything you've never done before? What has God done in your life lately?

Where We Belong // Lynn Austin

I just finished the book and wrote the review on Goodreads, when I decided to post it here as well. 
_____________________________

My Review:
Overall, the book wasn't my favorite Lynn Austin book. She is such a good writer, and I admire so much of her work. This book wasn't badly written. It wasn't boring. It wasn't frustrating.
It just wasn't great.
It wasn't 'Hidden Places', it wasn't 'Wonderland Creek', and in my opinion the execution of each character's backstory was better carried out in 'Eve's Daughters' than in 'Where We Belong'.
BUT.
This book was special in it's own way, and had it's heart-wrenching, heart-warming, lovely and moving moments that left me thanking God that He is the way He is. Yes, this is a fiction story. But God is very real. His love is the realest thing you can experience.
Austin did a stunning job with this book in particular of bringing His loving and redemptive nature to life throughout the story, in the way the sisters cared, served and shown incredible mercy, grace, and love to certain characters in the book.
I also really loved the way everything came together at the end of the book. This happy ending story wasn't without heartbreak, which is a reminder that we never know how God will work. You never know how He will use you in ways that you can't imagine, and might never comprehend until heaven. It was a blessed reminder that it doesn't matter where you've been, what you've done, who you were in your past. Jesus flips that upside down. He's dying (literally- and rising again) to reach out to those very people.
In the words of 'The Pilgrim's Progress':

"Apollyon accused, "You almost fainted when you first set out, when you almost choked in the Swamp of Despond. You also attempted to get rid of your burden in the wrong way, instead of patiently waiting for the Prince [GOD] to take it off. You sinfully slept and lost your scroll, you were almost persuaded to go back at the sight of the lions, and when you talk of your journey and of what you have heard and seen, you inwardly desire your own glory in all you do and say."

To which Christian simply replies:

"All this is true, and much more that you have failed to mention...But the Prince [GOD] whom I now serve and honor is merciful and ready to forgive. Besides, these infirmities possessed me while I was in your country, for there I allowed them to come in. But I have groaned under them, have been sorry for them, and have obtained pardon from my Prince."

The LORD only can say who you are, what you are. No mistakes you've made can define you, as well as no good thing you can do. You will find this nowhere else, including religions. When religion demands "do", Christ states simply, "done".

But back to reviewing the book.

To be honest, the book helped me in my personal journey of loving and submitting to God in my own heart during this particular season of my life, and I've been a 'believer' for close to 10 years now (I've been churched all my life and I said "the prayer" at age 9, but I didn't really begin to grasp God's love for me and live my life for Him until I was closer to 12-14)! Who knows what God will do with my path as the years go on and my journey of life continues. It is my resolve to trust Him as He guides me along the way.
I love how so much of the sister's life was included, and how it all came to a beautiful and satisfying conclusion of how God brought things together, as is His way.
That's why, while not as good as some, this book has a special place in my heart and I will always connect it in my mind to the season that I am personally walking through right now.

_________________________

Well, that is all. I just wanted to share my thoughts. This book holds a special place in my heart for another reason - when I first received it for my birthday in January of 2018, I was still in my old childhood home. Everything in my life has prevented me from reading and enjoying books since then - including moving twice. I tried reading this book several times, only to read a chapter or two and then leave it for weeks untouched before being able to pick it up and focus again. It's been a difficult year and a half since I read the first chapter and so many things in my life have changed I can't even count them all- but a few things have remained constant. The LORD, and my underlying love for books, reading, and imagination, even while not having the time or the  mental energy to focus on enjoying them. My heart for those things was still there-lying beneath the surface as everything I thought I could count on in my life practically dissolved before my eyes.

Only in the last month, I've finally started to come back to my old way of doing things. My old hobbies, my old enjoyments, my old state of mental health. It's still rough, but God is still there. He is my constant Companion when everyone around me fails me or lets me down- and in being so, proving He's different and can be trusted. I don't ever want to take a break from books again- I hope that in the future, no matter what difficulties or trials I walk through, I will always come from a healthy place in my mind where I can focus on and enjoy a well-written story.
This is the book that I began at the beginning of that 'taking-a-break-from-books-and-everything-i-found-pleasure-in' season, and 'Where We Belong' ended just now... as that season is coming to an end. I'm not sure of very many things, but I'm quite sure that Lynn Austin books will always mean a lot to me.

That's all, friends.
I hope you've having a good day!

What about you? Have you read this book? What did you think of it? What book or author means a lot to you?

-Amaris ☆

// 2018: A Summary //

Hello, peeps! I have returned with a 2018 review... and I'm only about two weeks late, hehe. :)
But that's ok. This year, I decided that I will do the 'New Years Tag' thing that I've seen floating around various blogs for the past couple of years.
Let's get started.

From my Instagram @amaris_todd

// The Year 2018 // 

What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?
I went to an outdoor theater for the first time!!! It was such a fun experience.

Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make one this year?
I only had one goal, to try to watch more movies. And I succeeded!! I watched over 50  movies this year! I am planning on publishing my 'big epic movie list of 2018' soon, so that you can see what I thought of each movie I watched this year.

What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
I would like to have more education in art, and a laptop. :)

What date from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory?
This might sound dumb, but that would be the day I got my first smartphone, the iPhone X. The day we got it, we went to Lion's Choice afterward, and every time we go to that same location, I remember the mood and the vibes I had from that first day I got my phone.
Oh, and also May 20th! The day we officially moved! I remember what it was like to spend the last night in my old room.... a very unique feeling. It's like going away for vacation, knowing you'll miss your home but you'll soon be back... except you won't be back. And you know it.

@amaris_todd

What was the best month?
Possibly July, because the VBS that I taught in was absolutely amazing. October was also really good, because I attended an art class and did a lot of other fun stuff with my best friend that month. :)

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Probably just the things that God taught me this year about Him, and how that will affect my teaching children about God.

What was your biggest failure?
That I didn't read more books.  :( I really love books, but unfortunately at the end of many stressful days this year, I just didn't feel like a book. I hope to improve on this more in the coming year, though!

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing a moon exhibit at our local science center! They had the entire command module from Apollo 11. :) It was really fun to see. I also just got generally more excited to hang out with friends more, which is more than I ever used to do.

@amaris_todd

What was an unexpected surprise? 
God brought a few friendships to me that I didn't know would be so important to me, and I'm so glad He did. <3 I also started going to a different church. It was difficult, since I'd been going to my previous church for 10+ years, but I'm so glad I did and I know I'm supposed to be at this new church.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I had gotten out and exercised more. :/

How did you spend Christmas?
It was just a small party of me and two others. We spent the day inside relaxing and doing activities. I worked on drawing. It was rather nice.

How did you spend New Year’s?
We pretty much did the above answer, but add watching 'Forrest Gump' and eating homemade chili. :)

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018:
I don't have to do or be anything to make God love me more. He already loves me, once and for all, whether my day is good or bad.
Also, if you pretend to be something you're not to impress/make other people happy, it's gonna get old eventually. Be you. If you don't know what 'you' is, figure it out and don't be afraid to be it. Negative people are everywhere. Even people you think are close to you might be a source of negativity in your life. Watch out for them, and don't change who you are for them unless you know God is using them to change you. <3

@amaris_todd

Compared to this time last year, are you: 
Happier or sadder? Sadder.But don't be alarmed... I'm a sad person in general. It's the way of things for me right now. Nothing has directly caused me to be sad.
Thinner or fatter? I have to admit a bit fatter. But I am hoping to walk more this year, and also eat more vegetables, to live the best life of taking care of the body God so graciously gave me! :) 
Richer or poorer? Well, I'm definitely making more money than this time last year, but I also have more expenses now... so it kind of evens out. 

Five things I want to do in 2019:
1. Make memories with my friends more, and be there for people.
2. Keep drawing!
3. Take overall mental and physical health more seriously.
4. Keep growing closer to God and learning from Him.
5. Explore more of my hometown- such as best restaurants, places to go, attractions, etc.!

What kept you sane?
God, my best friend Tessa (This Great Adventure!), and my good friend I made through VBS, Maggie.

Did you move anywhere? 
Yes! We moved about 20 minutes away from our old house on May 20th, 2018. The good thing is that I am now 2 minutes from my job, which is right down the street!I love that setup, hehe. I also quit my job at Michael's in April. But that was a good change.

Did you try anything local from your hometown that you've never tried before? 
I'm planning on exploring more of my town this year, but I did go to an outdoor theater during Summer 2018, and I really liked it! :)

What countries/states did you visit? 
Absolutely none. This, unfortunately, was a source of depression for me this year, because I love to travel and see things and go places (my mom calls me a 'free bird'), and I didn't have the money or the time to, nor was I in a position to travel, which makes me rather sad.
The saddest part is, this is the 4th year in a row I haven't traveled far from my home. I feel kinda stuck sometimes. Also I'm poor.
...
Ok that answer was depressing. *fake laugh*

Where did most of your money go?
Other than general expenses from living in an apartment (which are b o r i n g), probably clothes. I kind of figured a style for myself in 2018 too... but I'm still learning about that.

What was the best thing you bought? 
You know the answer! :) My iPhone X.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully, no.

What did you want and get?
Better drawing skills. :)

What did you want and not get?
So many things...like an iPad to start drawing digitally. :|

@amaris_todd

Did you fall in love in 2017?
Nope. I'll admit a few people caught my eye tho (*nervous laughter while hoping they never read this hehe ehe*), but nothing came of that.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 20 on my birthday, and.... if I remember correctly, I think we went shopping. I bought myself some clothes and makeup and stuff.

Did anyone close to you give birth or get pregnant?
Nope.

Did anyone close to you get married?
Nope.

Did anyone close to you die? 
Thankfully nope.

Who was the best new person you met?
I actually made some good friends online, once I got my phone. Several who actually read my blog, but blogging is kind of impersonal as far as chatting back and forth individually, so I didn't know what great peeps they were until I started chatting with them on Instagram! Social media also helped me re-connect with people I used to know when I was younger and doing homeshcooling, and I'm so glad because I never knew what great people they were and now we can hang out.

@amaris_todd

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
Trying, haha.
Actually, towards the end of the year I started taking my person fashion style more seriously. As mentioned previously, I'm still figuring things out and learning with fashion, but overall I'm more confident about my clothing choices than I was this time last year, and I'm happy with a number of clothing items I acquired in 2018!

What was the best book you read?
Show Them Jesus, by Jack Klumpenhower. Second most influential book I've ever read so far, hands down (the first being the Bible, of course). I actually read it twice in 2018, hehe.

What were your favorite books of this year?
I sadly didn't read a lot of books this year. :P I am working on 'Where We Belong' by Lynn Austin right now, which I started late in 2018, and I'm halfway through! It's pretty good. :)

What was your favorite TV show?
Poldark seasons 1-3 (we're gonna catch up and watch season 4 soon!). I also started randomly watching Victoria (with Jenna Coleman) one evening, and I kept watching because I looovee it. I am sad there was only a couple of seasons. Apparently they are making new episodes for 2019 and I can't wait! It's a beautiful, beautiful show. :)

@amaris_todd

What were your favorite films of this year?
I'm going to save that for my 'big epic movie list of 2018' post. :)

What was the best concert you’ve been to this year?
I don't really enjoy concerts very often because I get sensory overload (and big dark loud rooms with flashing lights kinda trigger my anxiety), but I did go to see MercyMe and I loved him. <3

What song/album will always remind you of 2017?
Owl City's Cinematic album came out on June 6th! I loved listening to it this year.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
The old band, Queen! I saw the movie 'Bohemian Rhapsody' in theaters and loved it, and it further assisted my growing Queen obsession. :) I don't recommend all the titles, but there are a lot of songs I do love. :) Same goes for Michael Jackson, whose music I also 'discovered' this year!
It was a good year, musically. I also started listening to more oldies (Dean Martin... ahhh... *heart eyes*), and reconnected with how much I love vintage. <3

@amaris_todd

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Tell me why I look back and I want to cry,
Sometimes I feel like we grew up too fast
You and I had the time of our younger lives
Sometimes I sigh and think about the past

But it's alright, cause everthing changes.
Owl City - Firebird (Alt. version)

// The End //

Well, peeps, that about sums it up. It was the craziest year of my life, and I changed more this year than I ever have. You know how there are some things you think will never change? Well, if you're between the ages of 15-25, think again, because it probably will. Almost everything I thought would never change, changed in 2018. That's the biggest reason it was such a crazy year!

It was a lot of change, but somehow I'm ok with it. I can always look back with fondness on the things I used to love and on the way things used to be, but there's so much more ahead. So, so much.
I read a (rather basic) quote on Instagram the other day.
 "Don't look back, you're not going that way"

Even though it's kinda basic and cliche, it inspired me.
I can't wait to see what 2019 holds. I am so excited.

Until next time, friends.
-Amaris

The Greatest Showman Book Tag // Taking a Break From my Break

Hello....

It's mee.....
(You've forgotten me, haven't you?)

I am taking a break from my hiatus (actually that doesn't really make sense because isn't a HIATUS a break? So..... I'm taking a break from my break...?) because I read this really cool tag on Eva's blog, and I had to jump in and steal it!
Things are slowing down a bit with our moving (as in, the work is getting less and less the more we clean up and stuff), so hopefully I can be back to posting regular posts really soon!
In the meanwhile, here we go.

Edit cred: Eva

Rules:
~Answer the Questions
~Tag Whoever You Want

(I think I can do that...)

The Greatest Show: Name a book that's as entertaining as a circus.

Well, nothing comes directly to mind except for Rhett & Link's Book of Mythicality, which was quite fun to read, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you watch their YouTube channel, because that's what it's all about... :)

A Million Dreams: Name a book that's set in a fantastical world.

Well, I don't read a lot of books from that genre, so I'm just going to say The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Last time I read the series, the third book was my favorite.

Come Alive: Name a book that makes you outrageously happy.

I gotta say Lynn Austin's Hidden Places, not because it's a happy book per se, but it always makes me happy when I read this one because I love her writing so much. But I totally agree with Eva about The Blue Castle too. 

The Other Side: Name a book that changed your mind about something.

This book by Jack Klumpenhower, Show Them Jesus. This is probably the most influential book I've ever read in my life, other than the Bible. It's that good. The truths are amazing.

Never Enough: Name a book that you've re-read more than once.

Anne of Green Gables. That book made me so happy during my high school days. I need to read it again. I actually learned a lot about writing from that book, plus Anne's misadventures and Montgomery's writing style always make me smile.

This is Me: Name a book with a character that reminds you of yourself.

I wish I could say Patrick Jane from The Mentalist... but that's a TV Show. I have never met a character more like myself than that guy. But since this is a BOOK tag, I'm going to say Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird. He does what is right while (mostly) keeping his mouth shut. He's great.

Re-write the Stars: Name a book with a forbidden romance.

I really love forbidden romance situations, so I wish I knew more books with them, but I don't so I'm going to say Lynn Austin's A Proper Pursuit. Although that one isn't super dramatic the way I like them. #yes i'm cliche sometimes
o

Tightrope: Name a book with an adventurous main character.

 I couldn't possibly name any other book or character than Sage from The False Prince Trilogy. I always admired the strength of that guy, and how he never stops. His cleverness never ends.

From Now On: Name a book with a wonderful family (related or otherwise)

Well, I'm going to go with the 'otherwise' option, and say how much I liked the companionship of the characters in The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. They are not family, but they stuck together through the war, and afterward. And they accepted Juliet into their adorable circle of trust and friendship. *sigh* It makes my heart happy. I love that book. (WHO ELSE IS EXCITED FOR THE MOVIE. Let me hear ya!)

There we go. I love book tags. Thanks for letting me steal from you, Eva! :)

I Tag:
Tessa at This Great Adventure (AKA - MY VERY BEST FRIEND WHO NOW HAS A BLOG)
Abbie at Chronicles in Bloom
Mary from Sunshine & Scribblings

Go check out Eva's post here.

It was nice writing a post again for once! I will be back soon, my bloggy friends...

-Amaris