I Am Slowly But Surely Adjusting // June 2025

Here it is! The Life Update I've been promising. 

A lot has changed in my life, which has prevented me from posting as often as I said I wanted to back in the beginning of the year. And apart from that, life has just progressed, like life always does, even in the mundane and somewhat boring ways. 

But if I've learned anything as I've gotten older (I'm 27 now..... holy crap I'm old...) it's that the passing of time is very precious. My son will never be as young again as he was today. My body will never look quite the same as now. My marriage won't be in the same young stage as it is in right now. Life is so precious even in its mundanity!

So here they are, the bullet points of What's Been Going On!

⟢ I Quit My Full Time Job to Stay Home With My Son

(This one is a long one, LOL)

This one was a huge step in faith in which I quit my full time job doing inside sales for Home Depot, working from home. It was a great job, really, and I enjoyed it immensely! The job worked perfectly for me and my family for 2-1/2 years. I was able to have my son at home with me while working to provide the major part of our household income. All my breaks and lunches were right here at home, where I could cook, clean, play with my son, take a shower, etc. When I got off work for the day, I was right there at home ready for the evening, the second I clocked out. There was no commute, and no need to drive anywhere. I could (and frequently DID) wake up barely 10 minutes before my shift started to get those extra Z's! 

But, all was not paradise. It was a full time job which meant 40 hours of my week that I didn't get to have full time attention to my son. We had to stay inside, all day every day. And what's more, the job itself became a bit of a problem. I've always been a good worker, with attention to detail, organized, and who worked well with other people. But towards the end of my time there, they had a few people leave and they weren't being replaced. So everyone else had to absorb the extra work, and it became tiring on many of us. What's more, my relationship with my boss began to deteriorate as I was dealing with the increased and changing expectations, which was made harder by the fact that the boss person just didn't do their job very well (let's face it, the boss was probably stressed too). It got to the point where I was feeling anxious to go into work. I would think about work on the weekends, and while I still loved many aspects of the job, I just wasn't excited to do it any more than I was stressed. Several workdays had me clocking out with tears of frustration. My husband had been encouraging me for months that we can quit this job and figure out the finances - "we're not stuck here, GOD will provide", he would say. But I was scared. I didn't know how we would figure out how to make it. I made a lot of money and I just didn't know how we could get it to work. 

At the beginning of May, I reached my breaking point. I had a video meeting with my boss, and told her I wanted to go back to a store in 2 weeks, to work part time. The amount of freedom and excitement I felt! I still had no plan and no understanding of how we would make things work. But, I took the leap. The HUGE leap of faith. Frankly, I was scared to death! But, I did it anyways.

Here we are at the beginning of June 2025, and we are still alive and surviving. Yes, the money's tight. I miss being able to eat for my cycle (steaks during Menstruation, salmon and kombucha during Follicular, etc. etc.), I miss my regular massages, I miss being able to cook for other people more, and I miss many other aspects of the privileges of... you know, HAVING MONEY. But, we are working on it. And picking up hours here and there to make ends meet. We haven't been kicked out of our apartment yet so that has to show for something! And changes always lead the way to make new connection and new networks. I already have offers to do some clerical work for minimal hours at home for a few business partners that my husband and I know, on top of working 2 nights a week at a Home Depot store in my area. Things are still shifting and we are still getting used to everything, but there has been a tremendous amount of blessing and promise as GOD confirms the decision we made!

⟢ I Am Reading 25 Books in 2025

See my last post for a recap of the year so far in books! Here's the list of books I'm currently working through and hoping to finish soon:

• The Story of Knights and Armor | by Ernest E Tucker (A book I read as a kid while homeschooling - I remembering liking it a lot and decided to pick it up for nostalgia's sake and also because it's a pretty easy read to get me to my goal!)
• Tess of the d'Urbervilles | by Thomas Hardy (I found this at a book fair here in Saint Louis - I am only 3 chapters in but liking it so far!)
• Prayer in the Night: For Those Who Work or Watch or Weep | by Tish Harrison Warren (I had to read this one after loving Liturgy of the Ordinary so much. And already, this book has me tearing up numerous times already!)
• The Flourishing Family: A Jesus-Centered Guide to Parenting with Peace and Purpose | by David Erickson (I followed them on Instagram while back because they aligned with my views on not spanking children, among many other parenting values that I hold to - this is a very hyped book that I'm very excited to get into. So far I have just read the intro!)
• The Witch of Blackbird Pond | by Elizabeth George Speare (This is a favorite from when I was a teenager. I'm reading this with my "book friend", we meet on Mondays!)
• The Lord of the Rings: Part One: The Fellowship of the Ring | By J. R. R. Tolkien (I'm reading this through with a few girlfriends! It has been very nostalgic and a great path down memory lane because I have only read the series once when I was a teenager!)
• Mansfield Park | by Jane Austen (I'm probably going to finish this one next - I have been "speed reading" it to get through it in order to move on to Tess mentioned above. I plan to watch the movie when finished! Or is it a series? I don't actually know, LOL!)
• Scarlet (The Lunar Chronicles, #2) | by Marissa Meyer (I'm having a hard time getting into this one. I'm not sure if I'll finish it honestly!)
• Show Them Jesus: Teaching the Gospel to Kids | by Jack Klumpenhower (re-reading this with my hubby!)
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents (this one goes without sayin', you can just look at some of my recent posts for context, LOL!)
• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work | by John M. Gottman (Ok, I like this book... but the amount of exercises is annoying and a little daunting. I just wanted to read something and didn't want or need something so hands on, and frankly that's making it take a long time to get through! Time will tell if it's overall worth it...)

While enjoying a Nitro Cold Brew from Course Coffee Roasters in St. Charles!

I have a few more books planned to read as well as some of these reach completion, but I will discuss those probably in a future post this year!

Ok, now for a few shorter updates (aka "shorties")!

⟢ Life With Malachi (aka "Poobiss")

"Poobiss" is the nickname we have given our son. He will be 2 this month! Every day is an adventure, and it feels like he picks up new abilities and developments every day! The latest fun quirk... he has started pretending his morning banana is a plane by swooshing it into the sky with his hand and making an airplane sound! 

⟢ Making Lots of Sourdough Bread

Behold my newest food-related hobby! I picked this up about a year ago. I will have a post coming up soon in which I describe my current routine! But for now, I'll share one of my recent loaves: 

I'm still working on my scoring -- but look at that crusty crust!!

⟢ Experimenting with Coffee Syrups / At-Home Brewing

Since quitting the job, one of the ways we are saving money is by making our coffee drinks at home. I have a method for making an at-home latte with the Aeropress. But syrups are really where I can be creative! Here is one of the recent recipes I came up with, I'm not sure what to call it, but it reminds me of a cookie of some sort!

1 cup cane sugar

1 cup water

2-3 tbsp (to taste) molasses

2-3 tsp (to taste) vanilla

1-2 tsp (to taste - not too much because it easily overpowers) almond extract

pinch cinnamon

Place over low heat on the stovetop and let it sit for at least 4 hours. The longer the better!

As you can see, the measurements are very much adjustable to your preference, the main portion to stay accurate is the sugar and water, because this is the simple syrup base. Everything else is just flavoring!

⟢ Art

I have been wanting to practice art more, especially with different mediums than I have historically used. My favorites in the past is vine charcoal and pencil. But this year I started trying to be more colorful, having bought a box of Crayola pencils and crayons! And very different as well, when I made my 2025 vision board collage, which was done with layers of magazine paper. Here are a few recent pieces: 

Made with crayons

Pumpkins! Made with colored pencil

The Vision Board I mentioned :)

I should mention the orange piece and the pumpkin piece were made from pieces I found online, and were copied freehand by me. 

I will wrap up this post with a few movies my husband and I watched together recently: 

⟢ Movies

- 10 Things I Hate About You

- Interstellar

- Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

- Freaky Friday

- Enchanted

- Spy Kids

There you have it! A glimpse into my life. Heaven knows there is plenty more I could have included. 

I will be back soon, with another post. Until next time - 

- Amaris ☆ //

// 2016: A Summary //

Hello, my friends.
This is the post in which I re-visit all the best highlights of 2016. 
I am blessed to say that 2016 (in spite of the stress involving Nov. 4th) was a fantastic year for me. It was by far one of my most happy and productive years of my life so far (and I've only lived 18...).
It's the beginning of my illustrious career as an adult.
I saw things and did things that I have never done before.

I imagine this will be a long post, so I better get going.

APRIL:

I met my first famous person! That would be Markus Zusak, author of the Book Thief. :) He talked with us and told jokes and said "hi" to everyone (wow just like a real human) and then he signed all of our books! It was a pretty great experience, because I've never actually been to an author event before. Here's a post I wrote on my experience.

MAY:

I (FINALLY) graduated from ye old High School. How does it feel being graduated, you ask? Let's just say I miss school, but I also DON'T miss school... at all. And I don't like all the expectations that come with being 18-going-on-19. I mean, chill people. If I don't want to go to college right away (or even at all), that doesn't mean my life won't be a success, or whatever. Don't you watch Blimey Cow?

JUNE:

I spent two whole weeks away from home when I went to camp. We learned to teach Bible Clubs to little kids. I met some great (and not so great) people, and I feel like the experience really broadened my view of the world and people's opinions. It was really neat to see God work right in front of my eyes as we ministered to the kids and it was a blessing to everyone involved. Before you ask, YES I'm going again next year. :)

JULY:

I had my first surgery! No, nothing serious. I didn't almost die. I was only getting my tonsils out. It was quite a painful ordeal though, don't get me wrong. I mean, I was able to relax on the couch for 14 days, but I wasn't exactly comfortable. I ate Jell-O (LOTS of Jell-O), I watched Sherlock and Call the Midwife and did lots of browsing on Pinterest. Yay. So fun.

SEPTEMBER:

It's weird to call this one of the highlights of 2016, but I FELT MY FIRST EARTHQUAKE.
I've always wanted to feel one, which is why this was a big deal to me.
It wasn't a huge one, and fortunately, the earth DID NOT crack open beneath my feet and swallow me up into a deep chasm of nothingness.
I was sitting on my bed doing some writing (what else...) and I started to sway back and forth suddenly. I had no idea what was going on (I figured I was dizzy or something) until I saw some necklaces that were hanging on my wall swinging back and forth, and then I knew that HOLY MOLY THIS WAS AN EARTHQUAKE.
It was very interesting.
At least now I can say "Oh yeah, I felt an earthquake once..."

DECEMBER:

I wanted to add December in here because I actually had a great one. It was a little hard toward the end because of CERTAIN situations, but I enjoyed the Christmas season pretty good.
I went to like... *counts on fingers* 4 Christmas parties (usually I don't go to any), I actually tried out some Christmas volunteer work (thanks to my best friend for inviting me... you better know I'll be back to help next year), and I went to this beautiful street near my house where all these drama volunteers walk around as Christmas characters (Ebenezer Scooge, Kris Kringle, Jack Frost, Dickens Carolers, Santas from around the world, etc.) and you get to talk to them and collect their 'character cards' and they never once break character (not ONCE) and there's glowing lights and quaint little shops and homemade cookies and hot chocolate and the crisp Winter air and the gladness of Christmas cheer on the faces of everyone you meet.
It was simply glorious.
And that's coming from me, who is not usually a "Christmas loving person". Oh, don't get me wrong, I love JESUS, I just get tired of songs, and "Happy Holidays", and grinch music. And candy canes. Don't ever give me candy canes for Christmas. I will hate you.

And a couple of Random High Points:
The Best book that comes to mind: Gone With the Wind. Guys. This. Book. Let's just say it's one of the best books I've read in a long time. :) The Circle Series deserves an honorable mention here as well. This year I'd like to keep better track of how many books I read. It will be easier now that I have a Goodreads profile.
The Best movie: Wow, don't get me wrong but I actually didn't watch a lot of movies this year. I mostly watched TV shows. We did get VidAngel, which has enabled us to watch some movies that we couldn't watch before because of CERTAIN content, *ahem*, and that has been pretty cool.
While I'm on the subject of movies, also in December my best friend had me over to her house and I FINALLY SAW THE FIRST STAR WARS. That is, Number Four (A New Hope).
And GET THIS: I actually enjoyed it. I always thought it was stupid that everyone LOVED the Star Wars movies so much, but now that I have actually seen it, it isn't so bad.
A week later I saw the second movie (The Empire Strikes Back) with some friends, and I liked THIS one even better. I can't really form an opinion of the entire "fandom" yet, because right now I've only seen 2 out of 8 movies. Therefore, my opinion of what I've seen matters little at this point. (*whispers* except that I like it so far).
Moving on.
The best TV Show: You know the answer: Call the Midwife and Sherlock BBC.These two shows made up the majority of what I watched this year in TV Shows. What? No, I don't like British shows, why do you ask?

My Writing Progress: Actually I didn't write very much this year. As you can see, I WAS TOO BUSY. It seriously hurt, keeping my ideas all pent up inside. I'll tell you one thing. I don't 'do' New Year's Resolutions, but if there's one thing that I want to improve in 2017, it's my writing. That is, how MUCH I get done.
But it's just hard, you know? Let's just say that I hate writing first drafts more than anything in the world. :P
I do love my ideas and stories too much to let that stop me, so I just have to work on it.
*sigh*

Favorite Concert this year: I'm not really a 'concert person' (crowds and loud noises and big dark rooms with bright lights are NOT my thing at all. In fact they make me really nervous) but I do go sometimes if I like the artist well enough.
This year the best concert was MercyMe back in April. Seriously, I love those guys, and the concert was sensational.
For those of you who don't know MercyMe,  I gotta share a couple of their songs: Flawless (seriously listen to the words, people!), Greater (again, hear these words, my friends), and Wishful Thinking  (beautiful, I love this song).

Favorite songs and bands for the year: This year I really enjoyed those songs mentioned above, as well as two other songs I've mentioned in a previous post, Be the Change, and Through Your Eyes by Britt Nicole (she's been a favorite of mine for years). And of course Owl City is still one of my favorites, as well as Casting Crowns, Danny Gokey, and others.
Of course my very favorite music this year has to be the Adam Young Scores. But I am not going to talk about them at ALL right now because I want to write a whole post on them soon.

So: What are my plans for the new year? Get this: I literally have none. I'm just hoping it will be another good year. I kinda feel bad saying that 2016 was a good year for me, because a lot of my friends (both my internet friends and my 'real life' friends) are saying that 2016 was so ridiculously hard as well as emotional for them.
I express my sympathy and prayers for those people, but I am also grateful at the same time for how this year turned out for ME.
God did some great things in my life. He showed me how to take care of myself, He taught me to love my enemies (Yes, surprise, I do have enemies), and He told me who I was.
Not only am I a child of God, but I am unique and special to Him, just like everyone is.
This year I discovered the Meyer's Briggs Personality Type Indicator, and that helped me get to know the people around me as well as myself. It helped me discover that the Human creation is really such a special thing, and superior to all that God has made.
We have to remember that life is not about sitting around waiting for God to give us a good year. It's about trusting Him with everything, and believing who He says we are- in HIM. That is, his precious children. This is true in the good years AND the hard years.
That is what I pray for all of us in 2017.
Remember to enjoy life, for everyone only has one.
Life is hard, but let's not take for granted its lovely side.

AND THAT ABOUT WRAPS UP MY NEW YEARS POST.
Thanks for sticking around to the end! I know I will enjoy looking back and reading this in the years ahead. 
I wish you all the very best year! Keep on posting, my friends. I do enjoy reading about you all. Even if I could never meet most of you. :) As for me, I posted 29 times this year!
Just for funsies, here's my last New Year's Post. :)
Here is a good verse to sum up my year, and I hope you will be encouraged as well!

 2 Corinthians 5:1
"For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands."

See you later!
-Amaris

The Circle // Ted Dekker // Review

 So, I'm pretty new on Goodreads, and one of my recent reviews was on The Circle Series by Ted Dekker. I shared it with my best friend, and she suggested that I share it on my blog, so that my other blog-reading-friends could hear my opinions. :) So, being the kind of person who takes people up on their good advice, I have henceforth posted the review here. Also, if you would like to follow me on Goodreads, I am now ON IT. 
Which reminds me: I have a couple of different names throughout the internet. Sometimes it's Amaris, sometimes it's Phoebe, sometimes it will be Amy. I'm just letting you know, it's all ME. 
Now that THAT'S cleared up, onto the review!

It's actually WAY thicker than it looks here. :P

                                                        *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *  

*takes deep breath* FINALLY. I AM FINALLY FINISHED WITH THIS SERIES. It took me forever. I got this huge book with all four books in it for Christmas, and I just now finished it.
It would be absolutely impossible to share all of my opinions on the series as a whole. I'm just going to give the highlights. It's the kind of book that should be read by people. I feel like the book has a lot to say for itself in spite of a few things that I didn't like about it.

First, I feel like this series would be better/more enjoyable if it WASN'T a series. I mean, who wants to read a book for 5 months straight? I got other books I want to read, too! It's not like I can STOP reading this book for awhile and go on to read something else, and then come back to it, because if I do that, I will completely forget what's going on, and who is where doing WHAT. It's that kind of book. You really need to stay with it, or else it won't make sense every time you randomly pick it up. I wish maybe it could be shaved down into ONE, really good, fantastic book. I would buy that.

Secondly, It's kind of hard for me to talk about characters and events, because it would be very easy to spoil it if I did. I do have my list of favorites, however. I loved Thomas. He's the main character (no spoiler there!), and he is SPECIAL. I mean, really. He's a hero, he's a naive kid from Denver, he's a man, he's a world-changer, he's a dreamer. No bullet can stop him (literally). No sword. I love the way he handles just about every situation. He knows where the love is. He's loyal. If I met someone like that in real life, he would be my hero, the one I admire, and I just might marry him! I loved watching him grow up, from his first adventure in Denver as a trouble-making teenager, to the End of the World in the last chapter, as a mighty warrior who fights for good. Yes, good job with the main character.

Third, I can't help but mention that there were TIMES. Times in this book, where there was weirdness. The good thing about this is, the whole book was NOT like that. There were just parts. Parts in the evil queen's lair, parts when Thomas was transitioning into his dreams, parts where a character sells himself to evil, parts where I wondered what in the world I was reading this for. But the thing is, those parts always ended. And they weren't TERRIBLE. They added to the story. And if you think about it in terms of real-life, those parts were absolutely, terribly real.

Fourthly, I must mention the extraordinarily written endings. The ending of Black (Number One) was AMAZING. I can't imagine what it must have been like for people to read the ending of that book and have to WAIT for the next book to come out. It must have been absolute MURDER for them! Black literally ended with a riveting scene cut off right in the middle. I seriously jumped straight into Red (Number Two) because I KNOW that I would not have been able to wait to see how it turned out. It was THAT good.
However.
I really must mention the end of the entire SERIES.
It.
Was.
Amazing.
Also sad. But using a word as common and trivial as "sad" seems a tremendous understatement to say the least. The end of this book was literally the end of the world. Where the faithful member's of Elyon's Circle are finally taken up into eternal Paradise, and those left behind are literally devoured by the remnants of Evil. There is a battle. It seems Evil will WIN. But does evil win in the end? No, dear friend, it does NOT. This book, the entire thing, from the beginning of time when man turns away in disobedience, to the middle where Elyon's faithful few are beginning to doubt His very existence, to the very, VERY end, when Evil is conquered in a great and terrible battle Once and For All. It's a picture of our own earth. We, as Christians, are His Circle. His faithful few.
There will be deception, there will be tragedy, there will be doubt, there will be deception. But we must never doubt! Never doubt His promise, dear friend!
Ahem.
Are you seeing what this series did to me?!
Anyways, let me get back to the ending! Not only was it a terrible and beautiful picture of the ending of the world, it was A WONDERFUL ENDING FOR A BOOK, just in general terms! It was written well. There are shocking deaths, devastating betrayals, and hope given for the very last chance to dive deep.

At the back of my version, there is a couple of pages of an interview written with Ted Dekker, in which he explains his reason behind the idea of the characters Diving into Elyon's Lake to let themselves be washed and renewed by His goodness.
I quote:

"I was once in a time of meditation and I imagined God as a lake. And I knew immediately that I had to write a novel in which one could dive into God as if He were a physical reality. To do so I had to write a story in which all that we see as spiritual was recast as physical. The colored forest was born. As was the forbidden circle and the lake. I then took the idea further and imagined retelling all of redemptive history within the context of this world."

The best thing about his representation of God's "redemptive history" in the story is that, it's not done in a boring or cliched manner. It is done so that you are so engrossed into the lives of the characters, so taken in by his storytelling of the events and situations in the book, that you can hardly tell that you are reading that 'retelling of history', as he describes, yet in the end, you are touched in an emotional way because of what you read about love, and the Blood.
It is not boring. I have read books where they add scriptural parallels within their story to exemplify points in there story, to give it a redeeming quality. Those books are well intentioned, but I find they are often cliched, boring, and even disappointing. Write your own story! If I want to read about the Bible, I'll read my ACTUAL Bible. I'm not saying I don't I like it when a person gets saved in a book, I'm saying that it's easy to just copy God's redemptive story, write it into your book, giving it a couple of twists and turns to 'refashion' it and 'move' non Christians.
I'm saying that you COULD do that, but it must be done WELL. I must NOT feel, as a reader, that I am being preached to. I open your book to read a story.
Give me a story, not a sermon!
Ted Dekker does his story VERY. WELL. When I read his book, I embraced the pure and simple truth displayed as Elyon loves his people, and I did NOT feel preached to. I felt connected to God's love in a real and personal way. I did not feel like Dekker thrust the gospel onto me.
I felt... well, I felt like I was reading one of the greatest books ever written.

Overall, I still have a huge wealth of mixed feelings on how I feel about this series. I guess I would have to divide it into parts. There were some parts that were my FAVORITE of all books that I've ever read. Then there were OTHER PARTS when I questioned why I even picked up the book to read it in the first place. It was like that the entire way through the book. In my head, constantly: "I hate this book... wow, I LOVE this book... Why am I even reading this?... Wow this is SO GOOD... I don't have time for this book, I have better things I could be doing... Wow I'm really glad I got this book for Christmas... and etc.! On and on and on.

But you know, I think it's the kind of book that SHOULD be read by people. It's a beautiful picture of Christ's love for His bride, and the Fall of Man, and the importance of the Blood, but without the preaching, and as much adventure and thrill as you can wrap your head around. The book is really a big mouthful to chew on, but I think that people ought to give it a try, because it is a tremendously good book. Maybe even a GREAT one. 



                                                     *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *
-Phoebe