Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 13, 2026

A Day In My Life (as a stay at home mom with a toddler and new baby)

Good day Friends! 
I don't know about you, but my daily routine has changed greatly and frequently in the last couple of years, what with the addition of two new children, job changes, and other typical schedule changes!
I thought it would be fun to share what a typical day (weekday) is like for me on a regular basis. Not only to share with those who are interested in knowing, but I would like to look back on this and remember what things were like for me at this point in time (when my routine has changed even again many times over in the future)!


At this point in time, I am still adjusting to life with a new baby (who is almost 3 months old), and only doing what I feel capable of, as I am still healing from my C-Section and pregnancy. I would like to add some more things to the typical routine and have been doing so slowly. But for now, this is what things look like. 
I also would like to express that I rely more on the order of routine rather than the time that something happens. If I focus too much on time, it gets too stressful too easily, having the added stress of being "late" for my morning coffee or "early" for playtime, and whatnot. So instead I focus on "what comes after this activity"? Regardless the time of day it is.

So here you go, this is how a typical weekday plays out for me as of recent days!

𖤓~𖤓~𖤓

𖤓 Start the Day with Breakfast! 𖤓
Not surprisingly, every day starts with breakfast. Typically, my husband is already left for work when we get up. I start by getting my toddler Malachi some yogurt for breakfast. He always has Greek yogurt and I will add some berries to it, whatever I have on hand. Sometimes it's diced strawberries, blueberries, or even something frozen. I make sure he gets fed first. He is capable of feeding himself with a spoon while sitting at our table. While he is doing that, I will make my breakfast. Which, recently, has been a serving of cheesy grits (I am obsessed with grits - I think I got my love for them from my dad), and either a bagel with cream cheese, or a small yogurt. I will change what I eat for breakfast every few weeks, as I like to have the same thing for awhile before changing. Before the grits and bagel/yogurt, it was scrambled eggs with vegetables and some grits on the side. Who knows what it'll be next! 

The usual: Greek Yogurt and Strawberries!

𖤓 Time for a Walk! 𖤓
After we have done breakfast, we'll always go on a walk around our apartment complex. Recently, since I have a new baby, I will bundle him up in a wrap and I will hold Malachi's hand. Sometimes I will let Malachi roam free close by me, there are a few larger areas with just grass that isn't next to any roadways or moving cars, so I let him have the freedom to walk on his own a bit. We always like to look at nature and objects as we go along. There is a "pinecone patch", which is an area underneath some pinecone trees. If we see some ants or insects, we will pause to look at those too. I enjoy taking our time on the walk and letting Malachi dictate what we stop and look at. Not only does it kill more time in our long day at home, but it's a great way to slow down and practice gratefulness for the simplicities of life! 

This is my new profile picture for the blog! I think I look very mom-like here. 

𖤓 Next, Coffee Time! 𖤓
After we get home from our daily walk, it is coffee time. I will make myself an iced latte with flavor depending on what syrups we have. This morning, I experimented and made a Salted Maple Blueberry Pancake Latte (blueberry syrup, maple syrup, pinch of pink salt, few drops of cake batter extract, few drops of vanilla extract - it was FANTASTIC). But we also have an Earl Grey syrup and Strawberry syrup right now. I always make an espresso "shot" with our Aeropress, using this video as a guide. I let Malachi help me measure the beans, press buttons to heat up the water on our electric kettle and to grind the beans, and to do some stirring. It's a special little bonding time. I always let Malachi have a little taste! While I'm drinking my coffee, I let Malachi do some sensory playin our kitchen sink with water, cups, and the used coffee grounds from the Aeropress. 

My daily delicious coffee!

𖤓 Lunch aka "Nonch"! 𖤓
(Malachi pronounces "lunch" like "nonch"!) I always prepare Malachi's lunch first. A favorite, recently, has been mac-n-cheese (which he calls "Mocky-Cheese"), but I also usually have homemade nuggets in our freezer ready to easily heat up, as well as a number of other things that he likes to eat depending on what I made for the family that week. Almost always, I will have some fruit and/or berries on the side that I chop down to size. While he is eating his lunch, I will usually do some dishes and/or make my own lunch. I sometimes eat my lunch with him, but I have noticed he eats better when he is eating somewhat privately. So I usually do a little housework while he is eating. 

Chicken with rice and broccoli, with a side of cheese and pomegranate seeds (they were in season at the time this photo was taken)

𖤓 Quiet Time! 𖤓
Immediately after lunch, we always do quiet time. This is when I give Malachi a graham cracker, and he does some solitary play in his room for 2 hours. I come get him half way through to use the bathroom, and give him one more cracker. During this time, I have my own "quiet time" although it looks different than Malachi's. I usually do 1-2 hours of my work from home admin job on the work laptop. I also might blog, do housework, play with the baby, do some screen-time (like watch a movie), eat "forbidden snacks" (foods that I couldn't eat with Malachi around, such as ice cream), or do other things on my To Do list. SOMETIMES - if I am very lucky, Malachi will put himself down for a nap during quiet time, then it's EXTRA quiet time. Quiet time is my favorite time of day ◡̈ 

A quiet cup of tea for quiet time

𖤓 Play Time! 𖤓
Depending on when quiet time happens, it may or may not be very close to when my husband gets home from work. So the time of day at this point really determines what we do for the rest of the day. Regardless what it is, we do it all together. Sometimes it's playing with toys, reading, doing an activity (like repotting plants together) or just hanging out cuddling on the bed. We do this until my husband gets home. 

Repotting a new plant! Malachi loved scooping the soil!

𖤓 Daddy is Home! 𖤓
This is another time in the routine where the activity really varies. My husband always takes a shower and makes a coffee with Malachi when he gets home. After then, frequently we will all go out on a walk together, or to the playground, and/or go to the store to shop for whatever we might need. We do this until dinner time and bedtime.

Checking out a new book we got at a book fair! 

𖤓 Dinner then Bed (for Malachi)! 𖤓
After our activities for the day are all done, around 7pm or 8pm, we put Malachi for bed after doing dinner. He can brush his teeth with minimal help, use his tiny toilet all on his own, and get dressed with help. Daddy will read a chapter of Scripture and then we will leave him to it. He has been pretty good about going to sleep once we leave the room, with no wake-ups in the night. We always give him his water bottle in case he's thirsty in the night. 

My three boys <3

𖤓 And that about wraps it up! 𖤓

I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my routine! 
This routine structure is very helpful for both me and Malachi. It's helpful for me because my mental health does a lot better when I have some type of structure to my day and to my life. Of course with flexibility for when things happen or when things change. But having something right after the other helps me get through the day. For the easy days, and the hard days too. 
It's helpful for Malachi because, as a toddler, he thrives on routine and knowing what comes next. Having a set routine helps minimize acting out because of boredom or not understanding expectations. And he is really good at knowing what we do throughout the day! As soon as we are done with our walk, he is asking about coffee. As soon as we are done with lunch, he is asking about quiet time - so on and so forth. He knows! He's a smart kid, and it takes the extra work off me to have to explain every bit of every day, because it's automatic. 

Malachi checking out some flowers.

Of course, things are not always this way - this is just a typical weekday. Weekends are much more of a free-for-all. Also, sometimes Fridays are a little different, as I usually keep the car that day (which allows us to do different things out and about) and we usually run to get coffee in the morning before I drop off my husband to work. 
In any case, I hoped you enjoyed reading about my routine!

Do you have a daily routine that you go by? What type of things are included in yours?
Let me know your thoughts on my routine in the comments!

~ Amaris // ☆

Monday, March 9, 2026

A Short Entry From My Diary

 March 7th, 2026


~*~*~*~


Well, I guess I'm at the end of this diary. It's been bad. It's been good, too. 

I started this journal pretty organized and structured. But it went very crazy from there. I even used this as an art journal a bit (see my ink drawings). 

I started the journal only a few months ago, expressing the hope or the wish that things would be better by the end of it.

And well, I guess in someways it's been better. In some ways, things are good. In some ways, they are bad. 

Many things have transpired. 

Things I've been too exhausted to write. 

Things I didn't know how to write. 

Things I did write. 

Any way you slice it, I'm now going to a different journal to continue into the next phase of the journey. 

I don't know what to expect. I do know that I have many, many doubts. 

But I have one Hope. 

And that is enough. 


~ Amaris // ☆


P.s. - for the concerned reader - there is no intended cryptic message here. I had my baby and I am doing well - more updates soon :) 

Wednesday, October 8, 2025

Hello From the 2nd Trimester! (^_^)/

Hello my friends! It's me, checking in with a long awaited post! (WARNING : long post ahead! I'm behind on updates LOL)


For awhile there, I was doing pretty good at posting weekly. But then, pregnancy hit... and with it, all the tiredness and sickness that is typical with the first trimester. I had my doubts about being able to keep up with the blog while going through all that, and I was right. I kinda just rested and ate crackers for 3 months. But that's ok! It's to be expected. Despite how sick I was feeling, I was still no less excited about the prospect of having another baby around here!  

Now, I am in the 2nd trimester, where things are looking up a bit! I still get some little bouts of nausea here and there, but luckily it has toned down a LOT. Like, 90%. I can work with that! 

I'm still pretty tired though, and ideally take a nap once a day, and sleep in every morning (which I can do, since I'm a stay at home mom without a full time job! Hooray for that decision earlier this year. Timing worked out perfect). Luckily, my toddler is very workable when it comes to sleeping in. He chills out playing in his room until around 10am or 10:30am typically, then we both get up and have breakfast together. It works out perfectly for Pregnant Me. 

Since I've been feeling better overall the past couple of weeks, I've had slightly more energy and more motivation to *do* some more things in my life. I'm trying to get back into some kind of productive routine now that I can. I have started cooking a little more, I get the place *generally* clean by the end of the day, and am even doing some Autumn and seasonal activities!

The most recent activity was going to Eckert's Grafton Farm! This is an apple orchard (although they grow other produce too - but their apples are by far their biggest thing they do) that is somewhat local to my area of St. Charles. People can go and pick their own apples and then pay for them by weight. I've been going to this place since I was a young child with my own siblings and parents. Over the years, they have added a lot more fun activities for the kids - like a play area and a petting zoo. 

It was especially fun this year, because my son was old enough to participate in almost everything! When my husband and I went in 2023, my son was only 3 months old. I carried him around in a wrap, and he stayed asleep the whole time. We went up on the Grafton skylines afterward, which was quite fun and relaxing! 


In 2024, we went with a few friends, and of course my son was there too - although he was still too young (less than 2 years) to really do anything with us. So it was another year where I was just carrying a baby around while picking apples. 

But 2025 was different, and so so special! He picked his own apples and put them in the bag, he ate an apple whole while out in the orchard, and he was able to play in the kids area somewhat independently. He also sampled some apple cider, and of course eats a ton of apples from our stash that we brought home. 

What's also special about 2025, is we picked two pumpkins as well! I had never been to a pumpkin patch or ever picked a pumpkin before! Which is surprising with how many times I've been to Eckert's, and how many times I have had the opportunity to do so. All in all, we came home with one big bag of apples (I think like 20-30 apples total) and two medium pumpkins (I got two that were small enough for me to easily roast in my oven. My plan is to roast them, then puree and freeze them to use in baking over the next several months). 

I also think it's so funny that my son just learned how to say the word "Apple" and "Pumpkin". Just in time for the season! 

So... what else has been going on? 


❀ I Found a Midwife for my Pregnancy ❀

I never really talked about this situation on the blog... but my experiencing birthing my son was a very horrible one. In short, I didn't know what I was doing, so when I first got pregnant, I searched the internet and found any old OB/GYN who was near my area to go to. This turned out to be a horrible mistake. I ended up firing that OB/GYN halfway through my labor because she was so terrible. I was pushed and pressured to be induced and to get a C-Section for no medical reasons. It was a very painful experience, and frankly very insulting too. After I had my son, I did a lot of self-education on pregnancy and natural birth. I knew that I wanted to go for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) for my next pregnancy. At some point as well, I would like to start birthing all my babies at home. The only problem with a home birth at this point in my life is how pricey they are, and they don't take insurance. With us being on one income right now, that's just not doable, and I'd rather not make a decision that is going to stress us out financially down the road. So, I did my research and went to an appointment with an in-network midwife that I have heard a lot about in my area. My husband came with me to the appointment. We both felt really confident after visiting her, especially hearing her answers to all my questions. There's a lot more to that decision, but that's the basics. I already feel so much better in her hands than in my first pregnancy. I have a lot more education and tools at my disposal to speak up for myself when needed and make decisions based on what I want and what's best for me. I don't have any fear going into the next birth because of the education I've obtained about the subject (you might see in my "Read" shelf this summer, "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth", which is one of my favorite resources). Of course I will report back on the blog how everything goes with the next childbirth, which is happening in the Spring. Maybe I'll even post the entire birth story. :)

❀ Planning for the Holidays ❀

Me and my husband are brainstorming about what we want to do for the season - especially for FOOD for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We decided last year that we don't want to be a turkey family. I made my very first turkey and it turned out very good! However, it's just not my favorite. At this point in time, we are a very small family. I think I'd rather spend a little extra to make something nice for two adults and one toddler, than buy a big giant turkey that we can barely eat (even with freezing), in addition to turkey not being my favorite protein anyways. 

We also made duck for Christmas last year, which was very good. But, it is expensive, and you don't get that much meat on the bird - kind of the opposite problem of turkey. And while it's *good*, it's not good enough that I want to do it every year. 

I'm still brainstorming, but I'm seriously considering going a completely different, non-traditional direction for our holiday meals. I made osso bucco awhile back, and frankly that might be the perfect option. It's really easy to make, but it's luxurious and feels fancy and special, especially if you make it with the traditional silky risotto. The veal shanks are a bit pricey, but I liked it well enough that it's something I'm willing to spend the money on for a special occasion. 

The other option I'm thinking (and who knows, I could do this for one of the holidays and the osso bucco for the other holiday) is scallops, with some luxurious, fancy-feeling sides, such as prosciutto wrapped asparagus, risotto, or something similar. I have made pan-seared scallops a few times now, and dang but they are SO GOOD. They aren't SUPER pricey either. I mean, pound for pound they are much pricier than your average fish. But they're not unbearably pricey that I can't do them for Christmas. They feel fancy and luxurious, and they are fairly quick and easy to make! This gives me more time and effort to put into a fancy dessert, a mocktail (I made this mulled non-alcoholic wine last year and it was so yummy!), and some fancy sides or appetizers. 

So, all in all, I'm not sure what I'm going to decide yet. But I have some things swirling in my head that I'll probably land on soon :)


This is not even to mention the seasonal foods that I'm planning on making NOT relating to holidays, or fanciness at all. I'm super excited for pomegranates to be in season - I really enjoy cracking them open and rolling out the little seeds with my thumbs - and then rinsing them and drying them. I don't like to eat the seeds plain, the texture gets to me a little bit. But I LOVE them as a salad topper. I absolutely love making this Quinoa Arugula salad that I got from Pinterest, but I will add pomegranates and crumbled goat cheese. It's amazing as the recipe is written, but trust me, the addition of the seeds and cheese just takes it so far over the top. 

Also I'm very excited for citrus to be back in season! I love making citrus mocktails with fresh squeezed grapefruits (grapefruit is my favorite of all citrus for just eating plain - for cooking I like lemon and lime of course), and fresh squeezed orange juice to go with breakfasts. I also started a tradition last year that I plan on continuing - dehydrating citrus slices! I made some popcorn and orange slice garlands last year for decoration - and I plan on doing the same thing this year. I'm going to save a few for drink garnishes too this year. 

One last thing on the food topic of holidays. I have been doing a lot of reminiscing of my childhood holiday traditions, and the food my mom used to make for the holidays when I was a little kids. Some of them I had no idea what they were called, I just described them to Google and was able to find some of the recipes! I'd like to bring at least a few of those back this year. Here are the main ones: 

- 7 Layer Salad (If I remember correctly, we had this for New Years Day typically)

- Walking Tacos (with everything we know about microplastics and metals these days - I'll probably figure out an alternative to putting hot taco meat directly into the chip bags - while still trying to preserve the novelty! I also might try to find a more natural "Dorito" option - one that does have seed oils or artificial dyes.)

- Chili Spaghetti (which isn't a holiday dish, but just a regular dish we had that I want to try making again. It's great for kids LOL)

- Monkey Bread (we always had this on New Years Day for breakfast! I'll... probably do it for dessert LOL)

- Rotel Sausage Dip (definitely the most unhealthy of these LOL - we made this for New Year's Eve)

- Strawberry Pretzel Salad (not anything like a salad, more like a bar dessert, I don't know why it's called salad! My grandma would always make and bring this to holiday functions!)

- Hanky Panky Appetizers (THIS is the main one I had trouble finding! I only had the memory of it... I knew it was cheesy and had meat, and it was spread on some type of tiny bread slices. Luckily it's a pretty well known appetizer as it turns out, and I found the recipe!)

Those are some of the long lost recipes that I'd like to try and see if I want to bring them into my own traditions. I definitely know that I want to work in a lot of seasonal produce to my traditions. I want to raise my kids knowing how to respect and honor God's season and what He gives, rather than having to buy a bunch of decorations to feel Christmas-y, if that makes sense. 


❀ Drinking Coffee & Eating Dark Chocolate ❀

As you know, I have been an avid coffee drinker already for the past 4 years. I took a little break from coffee during the first trimester. However, with the 2nd trimester I have been having headaches relating to the pregnancy. And one of the things that helps with pregnancy headaches/migraines is caffeine and magnesium. Hence, I've been going back to coffee and also Dark Chocolate! I also got some magnesium capsules. And I've only been taking them a week, BUT I haven't had a headache in that time, so it just might be working! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Time will tell.


❀ Reading ... But Only a Tiny Bit ❀

You guys, I don't think I'm going to make my goal of 25 books this year. Not with the pregnancy LOL. But I did just finish the Witch of Blackbird Pond which was my 17th book. Even if I end the year having read only 17 books, I feel like that's not bad at all. My goal *underneath* the 25 book goal was to just read more! And I definitely accomplished that. We shall see what next year brings of course. And who knows, maybe I will end up reading one or two more books before this year is out!


❀ Not Much Else ❀

Even though this post is long, I really haven't been *doing* that much since my last post. Which is one of the reasons I haven't posted an update post in awhile - I have nothing to report! But, as mentioned above, I'm working on changing that since I've been feeling better. And hopefully doing more will benefit my mental health as well - the trip to Eckert's already helped! Especially having the apples that we are now using to nourish our family and decorate for Fall - It's like bringing the experience home with you! My plan is to post again soon regardless, because I have some thoughts on the month of November that I would like to share soon. 


Let me know what you have been up to in the comments!! 

~ Amaris // ☆


Wednesday, July 23, 2025

pictures from a day // (From my Old Blog Post Drafts)

(Starting from 2025): 

Hello Friends!
This is one of the old posts in my drafts that has been sitting gathering digital dust for years! It was fully written and edited years ago, so I decided to just post it. 
2019 was a fun year where I just started to feel like an adult (I was 21, but due to my sheltered upbringing, I didn't really "feel" adult like until 2019 onward). In any case, this is one of those good memories from before the pandemic craziness that I got good pictures of, edited by VSCO! I hope you enjoy -

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Location : Main Street, St. Charles, MO
Day : Sunday, August 4th, 2019
Company : My sister

--

A worn brick wall //


My sister always likes this particular wall, so depending on what she's wearing, we will take pictures whenever we come here.

Hanging Plants //


The window was too aesthetic to pass up :3

Coffee //


Our blended coffees were melting pretty fast so we could've just gotten iced coffees and there wouldn't have been a difference *shrug*

Chandelier //


Upstairs at one of the vintage shops, the attic was all decorated with old lighting, old bed frames, and old looking wallpaper. It was also super hot up there.

Bookshelf //


It smelled really good and old and papery right here. :3

Mirror //

Another one of the many cute shops on that street.

Plants //


"Wait, stop right there, let me get a pic the plants are really pretty..."

Aquarius //


The embroidery was really cute. They had all the signs, including this Aquarius which is my sign (p.s. I don't do horoscope or anything like that fyi... I just like stars and constellations. :3).

Hello? //


We found a rotary phone in an antique shop. We tried to call mom but it didn't work.

That's all. I just wanted to share a few pics from our day.
Hope you guys are doing good.

~ Amaris // ☆

Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Coffee

When I was a teenager (through most of the 2010s), I saw coffee as one two things:

1) The sweet kind of coffee drinks for basic white girls

2) The black coffee for working blue collar people and, like, i don't know, farmers and truck drivers.

Based on my experience, the coffee from the second group didn't taste too good. I had had a sip of it here and there, but never thought much of it, or just thought it was icky. My mom sometimes talked about this coffee, and how she "needed the caffeine to get through the day". So I supposed at the time it was some kind of magic energy pill drink that helped you get by when you had gotten less than ideal amount of sleep the night before.

In my late teens/early 20s, I sorta started falling into the first category. 

Like any teen fresh outta childhood, I liked a good sweet treat that had the "grown up" feeling because there was coffee in it. 

So, I went to a few Starbucks, had a few Frappuccino's. I kind of WAS a basic white girl for awhile... I'll post a pic to prove it... (The drink in this photo doesn't even have "coffee" in it...)

... the only thing missing was a T Swift obsession (who I disliked then and even more now, LOL) - I was in Chesterfield MO here. 

Picasso's coffee was a staple locally owned coffee shop in Saint Charles (near where I lived in Hazelwood at the time) and so I would sometimes go there, because hey! They had the popular icy blended drinks too - but their own version. I didn't care so much that they were locally made, I just thought it was something different than Starbucks to have sometimes. 

Additionally, I didn't go out of my way to MAKE any coffee ever. I didn't have a coffee machine (I think we HAD one, in the household, but it was just a typical drip Mr. Coffee maker that the family could use. I may have used it once or twice but it wasn't a ritual for me), and I didn't have any other contraption to make coffee. Heck, I didn't even know there existed different contraptions to make coffee. 

Here I am at Picasso's, on Christmas Eve 2018... drinking my frozen drink IN THE WINTER XD

In other words, there was black coffee, but it was mostly yucky. And then there were milkshake-like "coffee" drinks that somehow had coffee in it, and because of all the flavorings and sweeteners, it didn't taste quite so yucky. So when I DID get coffee, this is the type I would get. 

That was the entire scope of my coffee understanding as of 2020!

And then..... 2021 happened. 

And everything changed. 

It started when I was hanging out this with this guy who was my friend. He had recently started experimenting with his coffee tastes before meeting me. He and I did lots of things together (not as dates... but as friends. But believe me, we did get questioned XD). We started hanging out to go on walks, and we also enjoyed studying scripture together. And what better place to study scripture than coffee shops? 

So one day in April of 2021, he takes me to Upshot Coffee Brake Shop in St. Charles. 

At Upshot, during one of our early studies. You can even see his bible open in the background. We were just friends and, unknowingly, had started on the adventure of a lifetime.

And I had my first SPECIALTY, well-made latte ever. When I tell you, my world was changed. It was from that first sip that I finally understood - that coffee was not all that I had supposed it was. That coffee was not as limited a concept as I thought it was. There were possibilities here. There was... how shall I say it, flavor

GOOD flavor. 

My friend and I continued to hang out. We went to other coffee shops too. I discovered that black coffee, when actually brewed well, actually TASTED good. Frequent words used to describe black coffee that I had heard and also used myself, such as "burnt tasting", "bitter", "dirty", no longer applied. 

At Upshot. One of our many coffee scripture studies together. Building a foundation of scripture for our marriage - and a love for good coffee!

When brewed correctly, I now knew new words to describe the many different notes that can be found in different regions of coffee - "chocolate", "berry", "citrus", "oat", "nuts", "toffee", "jasmine", "raspberry", "caramel", "smoke", "herbs", "date", "cherry", etc., you name it!

And I even further learned, that it did not just matter how it was brewed, but also how it was sourced, WHERE in the world it was sourced, and also HOW it was roasted.

Basically, I learned that every single step of bringing coffee to the cup makes a difference in how it will taste. 

At Course Coffee Roasters. This is a cortado with sparkling water.


From the region it was grown in, to the temperature used to brew, to how LONG you wait to consume it AFTER it was brewed... EVERYTHING makes a difference. 

So it was no longer a wonder for me that there are so many coffee cups out there that frankly taste disgusting because they don't get it right on just ONE (or more) of those levels!

I know I am sounding like a total cringe-y millennial know-it-all coffee hipster. But when you think about the complexity. All the layers. All the expertise. There are so many ways you can get coffee "wrong". But when you get it all RIGHT... you get something truly beautiful and at the least, eye opening. 

This is at Quarrelsome Coffee, in 2023-ish (they have since sadly closed) with a pastry they sourced from Knead Bakehouse

But let's get back to my story. Me and this guy (who, I'll just spoil the story for you, did end up dating me later in the Summer of 2021, and yes, we eventually got married, and yes, he is the one I call my husband now!) continued to visit coffee shops because we both realized that our understanding of the subject was beginning to broaden in ways we hadn't imagined before. 

At Upshot, in Summer of 2021. With Cody!

You could really call this the "golden age of coffee" for me and Cody. 

We were trying new places and developing our palates for the stuff. And through it all, we were growing close the Lord and close to each other, even falling in love. 

At Course Coffee Roasters - shortly after we started officially dating, Summer 2021

It was in the Summer of 2021 that we discovered the coffee shop that would become more dear to us than any others we had visited thus far, or any that we would visit after. The coffee shop that was so consistent with their coffee drinks, and was so hospitable in their kindness, that it became a second home to us of sorts.

As my relationship with my soon-to-be husband deepened, my troubled relationship with my own family began to deteriorate. GOD was pulling me one way, and my family another. Without going into the nitty gritty of it all, it got to the point where it was so bad that I needed to leave my own home. I lived in my fiance's basement for awhile, having nowhere else to go. 

On our wedding day at Course Coffee Roasters - April 2022. Photos by Mary Ann Prahlow

In those darkened days of Winter, 2021-2022, we found a place of solace and comfort in the seats of Course Coffee Roasters. 

We met there to continue getting to know each other, while praying and honestly stressing about the complexities of our situation. All the while, Course Coffee was a safe place when I didn't have a home, and didn't feel at home almost anywhere. 

At home at Course Coffee Roasters, St. Charles MO.

Finally, my fiance and I got a place of our own in March of 2022, just a month before our scheduled wedding. The stress of life and the stress of our family's situations started to ease. 

In April of 2022, we got married! It was joyful and happy, although scary and uncertain in other ways due to the family issues. 

On our wedding day, at Course Coffee Roasters (photos by Mary Ann Prahlow)

But aside - to honor Course Coffee, and because we just freaking loved the place and their coffee (and coffee in general) so much, we had our "first look" right outside the shop, and even had some pictures taken inside the shop.

Our wedding day, after our first look. At Course Coffee Roasters (photos by Mary Ann Prahlow)

For our honeymoon, instead of a "honeymoon", we decided to have a "Coffee Moon". 

We took two weeks off, and decided to go to as many coffee shops around the St. Louis and St. Charles area as we could. 

At Maypop Coffee & Garden Shop in Webster Groves, MO (a really nice neighborhood in our area!). This was taken during our Coffee Moon in 2022.

It was an absolute BLAST! If you are ever near St. Louis, believe me, you have GOT to visit some of them. There are so many wonderful shops here! We are quite the coffee scene, and for most of my life, I had no idea! 

The top contenders in this area are (as of now, and in my opinion):

Taken at Sump Coffee - probably my favorite coffee shop other than Course. Especially the interior decor and design! This was taken I believe 2021 or 2022.
 

Not surprisingly, when we had our first child, the first place we took him after coming home from the hospital, was Course Coffee. 

Cody the new dad - and Malachi the new son! in June 2023 at Course Coffee Roasters.

And, as all of my knowledge of good coffee evolved, of course my home brewing evolved as well. 

Currently we have a small espresso machine, a French press, and an Aeropress. I personally use the Aeropress every day for my home iced lattes (using beans from Course Coffee of course). 

I also frequently experiment with coffee syrups to add to my lattes. My current favorite is a syrup made with sugar, water, molasses, cardamom, cocoa powder, almond extract, vanilla extract, and cinnamon. It's quite delightful!

At Road Crew Coffee & Cycles during our Coffee Moon in 2022

While I mainly make iced lattes at home (and the occasional black coffee), my favorite go-tos to get out are:

  • Traditional Cappuccino 
  • Traditional Cortado
  • Cold Brew
  • Nitro Cold Brew
  • Traditional Espresso Tonic

If you had told me in 2018 that my life would become so intertwined with the love and knowledge of coffee and my romance love story with my husband would be so involved with coffee, I would not have believed you. 

At Course Coffee Roasters - doing more Bible study. This was late 2021 early 2022 about.

It's something truly unique in my life, that I love both independently and with my husband together as well! I'm so glad that coffee is so much more to me than "icky black stuff" or "sickeningly sweet milkshake stuff". It has truly brought a richness and joy to my life that wouldn't be there otherwise. 

And the cool thing is too, that coffee is so many different things to different people! 

At Calvin Fletchers Coffee Company, which we stopped at on a road trip passing through Indianapolis, IN, in 2024. It was a worthy pit stop!

To the basic white girls, iced frozen sweet coffee is still something for them. Coffee is something for the trucker on the road at 5am. Coffee is something for breakfast, it's an after-dinner delight. It's an afternoon pick-me-up. Ther's something for dairy-free people and dairy-loving people. It's something for true coffee hipsters to brag about. It's something to the people of St. Charles who support their local shop. It's something to the people around the world where coffee is sourced, as a source of income for them. Heck, there's even something for non-caffeine drinkers, with decaf! It's a multi-faceted thing that means so much to so many. 

And for me, while my story is one among many, it just means a lot to me too.

Preparing for the birth of my son, March 2022 at Course Coffee Roasters.

So that's my story of coffee! My husband and I still share coffee drinking as a common "love language". We still go to Course Coffee all the time. We still try new shops here and there, though not as much as we used to, what with having a toddler now!

I hope my story inspires you to try your own local shops in your area, and develop your taste for this wonderful, versatile beverage. 

The first latte I ever had at Course Coffee Roasters, this was in 2021. It was a seasonal drink they had called a "Golden Compass", it had turmeric and black pepper and was delightful!

If you need a place to start, I would recommend checking out on YouTube:

To name a few favorites!

Farewell now, and thank you for reading!

A beautiful shot by me and my little iPhone, taken at Coma Coffee, most likely in 2022. 

Do you drink coffee? What's your coffee "story"? What is your favorite coffee drink? Let me know in the comments!

- Amaris ☆ //



Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Grieving the Living

Hello Friends - 

If you have been reading this blog for the past 1-2 years or so, you may recall reading that my husband and our family made the decision to go no contact with a family member awhile back. 

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This is a topic that has come up several times here on the blog. That fact reflects the reality of my life, in that the processing and grieving is a frequent thing for me.

Every day our north facing windows get just a single gleam of sunlight in the late afternoon. Who better to benefit than my lowly and lovely pothos? 

I won't discuss in detail who the family member was, (though you don't have to be a Pinkerton level detective to piece together who it is based on my past posts, LOL) because this post is about my thoughts not on the person, but on the aftermath, and my journey with forgiveness and the rollercoaster of ups and downs that come with all of it. 

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The amount of time that has passed since the no-contact decision was made (in 2023) has given me ample time to process it, heal from it, grow from it, as well as feel all the feelings associated with it a million times over. 

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The feeling that I would never escape the anger and pain was very prominent in the weeks following the initial cutoff. I worried, too, about the fact that I was feeling those feelings in the first place. After all, I don't want to be some unforgiving, angry, embittered individual who hated the memory and impact of this person (who shall henceforth be referred to as "the narc" for ease of writing).

This was taken the same month that I went no contact with the person. We were visiting Webster Groves and had a lovely time with our still-new son.

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But the hope of the situation is that I have learned some very important truths from October 2023 through July 2025: 

❀ I don't need to be worried about the angry and bitter phases of this process ❀ 

It is perfectly appropriate to allow each stage of grief to come and go multiple times over, including the phases where I am angry and feeling resentful. This is a natural and complex part of the grieving process. 

My small child at our favorite coffee shop

❀  The process of grief is not predictable and should not be put on a time limit ❀ 

A huge part of this fact is managing the expectations. I would have expected to be "healed" and "happy" about the whole thing by now. But the reality is, focusing on how long this thing is taking is just distracting from the real work and effort of healing at all. It does me no good to indulge in the disappointment of thinking "Hey! I thought I already healed and forgiven this part!" But instead to extend patience to myself, much like I would extend patience with my toddler, when he has difficult moods, or even my husband. I deserve the same care of patience as they deserve to receive it from me.

Our favorite coffee shop has the coziest and cutest chairs!

❀ Each and every stage of the healing journey can be felt, and should be felt freely ❀ 

But each of the feelings should be felt objectively, and with the understanding that the feelings aren't me. They are passersby. Here today, gone tomorrow. They too, shall pass. My identity is not determined by how I am feeling, but by what I believe, and what the Bible tells me I am in Christ.

❀ Working through feelings of anger, bitterness, and even un-forgiveness isn't a "sin" problem ❀ 

In fact, it's a reflection of the feeling nature that GOD made us as emotional beings, in HIS image! Now don't get me wrong, intentionally choosing to indulge in these feelings can be problematic, and at times, sinful. But allowing them to pass through me and around me, being an observer, is normal and an important part of understanding that I am not those feelings! 

Upshot Coffee Brake Shop

❀ Hope and progress is evidenced by the fact that every time I complete a phase of anger, I am more healed when it is over ❀ 

If I were to over-occupy myself in worrying about and micromanaging the times that I feel angry, then I would be too caught up in self-correcting myself and miss the opportunities to learn what GOD has for me in that phase. 

❀ I've come to acknowledge and accept that in the larger picture, the pain won't ever go away fully, but life will just get bigger around it ❀ 

After all, what is life full of, besides this pain of loss? 

I get to:

  • Focus on and spend time with the people who really know me.
  • Focus on getting to know myself, and watching my hobbies, interests, and values evolve with time.
  • Try new things intentionally, and not be complacent in ways that are not healthy or helpful for progress.
  • Focus on improving my own mentalities about life with self-reflection and self-examination, because not tolerating the narc's behavior, means that I also should not tolerate it in myself.
  • Get closer to GOD who made me, and allowed me all the feelings that come with a complicated situation.

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Well friends, that's all for now. 
The thoughts above don't necessarily have to apply to the particular grief I am experiencing with losing a family member that I no longer speak to. 
They can apply to many difficult decisions in life, and any regret. If I've learned anything besides what I talk about above, it's that there are lots of things in life that can cause grief, not just by losing someone. 
So if you are in a season of grieving, or know someone who is (for ANY reason), just know that I'm praying for you. And I hope you are encouraged by the words above!

Until next time - 

p.s. I also wanted to throw out there, that a big part of me learning to heal and grow from the situation is actually, surprisingly, NOT talking about it that much. When everything was fresh, I used to often include it in an introduction to myself, or at least include it in conversation within the first few talks with a person I was getting to know. It was getting to be very "Hi, my name is Amaris and this [Insert Trauma Here] happened to me". Such a drag, right! I came to this realization, and had to stop myself - because the more I was doing that, the more I was making the situation a part of my identity, a part of me. And the last thing I want to do is let this all develop into a victim mentality. 

Maybe, just maybe, I don't even need to talk about this until, like, I don't know, I'm at a much deeper level of friendship with people I trust and who would benefit from hearing my story. 
Revolutionary, I know. I'm learning! And that's all I can do. 

All that to say... after this post, I'm planning to not mention it very much here on the blog, if at all. Because... at this point, why? Yes, it played a part in making me who I am. But there are so much MORE and BETTER things that have made me who I am. Things that have determined what I enjoy today. Things that determine what I believe in today. Things that make me... me today. 
So my intention is to focus on these things instead, for the most part. That is not to say, that I don't plan to talk about difficult things in my life I'm going through. I do plan on that, and will do so, because otherwise I don't think this blog would be an authentic representation of my thoughts that it always has been or that I desire it to be! 
I just want to have discernment with how much I put out there, how often, and keeping in mind WHO I am choosing to become by how little or how much I talk about it. 

There, that's all for real this time. NOW I'm done. Ok, go enjoy the rest of your day. :)

- Amaris ☆ //

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