Showing Off My Bag Pins & Patches!

 I first got my Fjällräven Kånken bag in 2018. I needed a bag, and I liked the style of those particular bags. I went with a nice neutral brown, with the purpose of having it always matching my outfit and my style. I also intended from the beginning to deck it out with patches, pins, and keychains as I came across them. 

The Full bag, in all it's glory - including all pins and patches up to this point! (Sadly, the yellow tassel on the right came apart shortly after this photo, and had to be discarded).

But, I purposefully avoided seeking out pins and patches intentionally just to collect. I only wanted to include pieces that meant something to me personally. And so, over the past 8 years, I have slowly and thoughtfully added the pieces that are on there now. Sorta like a mobile scrapbook journal but with pins & patches. As a result, I have a bag that means a lot to me, has seen me through many seasons of life, and isn't chock-full of meaningless over-consumed trinkets. 

As an aside, this item turned out to be an incredible purchase as the bag has held up amazingly well, and I think it's one of my now-favorite Buy It For Life items!

Anyways, I thought I would set aside a post and give you a little tour of what is on my bag, and what each thing means! 

~*~*~*~

✧ I ❤︎⁠ Boro Pin

This button came from a coffee shop called Boro Coffee Co. that me and my husband and oldest son visited when we went to Pennsylvania to visit my father who lives up there. The coffee itself wasn't the best, but it was a sweet trip that we took with my dad and we enjoyed the outing, and this button is a great item to remember the trip by. 

✧ MABOI Missouri Pin

This is a very special keepsake pin coming from my dad. I always get a little forgetful when I think about what the pin is EXACTLY about, so here are my dad's words: "MABOI is a Missouri organization of about 400 members, mostly in the St. louis/St. Charles area. Building officials, building inspectors, fire marshals and fire inspectors, plan reviewers are all members. I was a member for 30+ years and also served on the board of directors. I was President 2000-2001." -My Dad

✧ Sump Coffee Pin

The skull is modeled after Scott, the owner and founder of Sump Coffee. Below is a coffee branch and a portafilter.

This pin showcases one of my favorite coffee shops in Saint Louis: Sump Coffee. This shop is a favorite because I've been there the most times after Course Coffee. They have really quality drinks and also the shop aesthetic is so cool! If you're ever in the Saint Louis area, you gotta stop by this one. I will say, they switched to dark roast not too long ago and so I don't like the taste of their coffee as much as I did in the past, but they will still deliver a quality cup that's worth stopping by.

✧ Boy Scouts Patch

This is one of the only patches in that the design itself has nothing to do with me personally. This patch is special because I found it in an antique shop in Hannibal, MO on a little weekend trip in October of 2018 and thought the aesthetic matched the bag perfectly. I also just really liked the patch itself and it was a great take-home souvenir for the trip!

✧ The Mud House Button

When my husband Cody and I first got married, we did our honeymoon around Saint Louis, trying many different coffee shops in our area of Saint Louis and Saint Charles (there are a lot!). We called it a "CoffeeMoon". One of the places we stopped at was The Mud House in Saint Louis. I love that I got this button to not only remember the place, but I like having a button to remember the CoffeeMoon by. 

✧ American Flag Patch

I don't remember exactly where I got this patch. I believe I got it at an antique shop. I have no idea why the flag is backwards, I can only guess it was sewn wrong during production. The symbolism in this one is obvious, in that it reflects my American heritage!

✧ NASA Apollo 11 Patch

I had a cool NASA pin on the day we went to this attraction as well, but unfortunately it broke awhile back and I had to remove it from the bag. 

This is a really cool patch that I got at the Saint Louis Science Center in August of 2018. They were doing a special exhibition about the Moon Landing and Apollo 11. It was a really cool event and they even had the full Apollo 11 Command Module on display! I have always been fascinated by space facts and space exploration, so this patch not only commemorates the cool trip to the Science Center, but also my love of space in general!

✧ Vertical Harvest Bible Chapel Gold & Silver Pins

From age 8-ish to age 18-ish, I attended Harvest Bible Chapel, Saint Louis West location, which was part of a larger chain of church plants in the US, originally stemming from Harvest Bible Chapel in Chicago, led by James McDonald (former pastor), none of which is any longer actively existing. At our church location, they gave one pin to those who had been there 5 years, and 10 years. I don't remember which finish (gold or silver) was given to which tenure. But, somehow I still have both pins even though it's been 10 years since I even went to that church. I must say it wasn't my favorite church experience, but I went there during the formative years of my teenage years and thus the church and especially the bible study experiences I had there had a great impact on my walk with GOD and on me as a person. So, I look back with general fondness on the whole period. 

✧ Home Depot Associate of the Month Pin

Definitely the most damaged item on the bag, this is one of two Home Depot related items on my pin. I received Associate of the Month recognition a handful of times throughout my employment since 2019. I have always loved working there and enjoyed being with the people I get to meet while working, both customers and fellow associates. This pin commemorates my time at the stores, and working from home for awhile too!

✧ Home Depot Platinum Patch

This one the threads are coming off a little bit, I need to go over it to secure it onto the bag!

This is the second of the Home Depot items on the bag. When you do something as an associate worth recognition, leadership will, at times, award a "Homer Award". It comes with a patch and a little paper with what you're being recognized for. Every 3 homers received equals a small bonus on the next paycheck as well! And every 12 homers is a milestone called the Platinum - with the Platinum you not only receive a small cash bonus, but you get to pick a prize from a collection of goods (So far, my three Platinums I chose - a knife set, an air fryer, and a food processor. They have items to pick other than kitchen items, but I always go for those! Yes, I still use all three!). The next time I reach 12 total homers, I will receive a Diamond, which is the highest award you can receive. Apparently you get an even nicer prize choice, and you get a pin with a real diamond in it. That will be a great future pin to add!

✧ MAMA & Stay The Course Keychains

These are the two keychains I currently have on my bag. The first one, Mama, is from a care box that was sent to me by a friend when I was pregnant with my first son, Malachi. I love having it on the bag, because being a mama is obviously a huge part of my life and who I am now. The second one is from Course Coffee Roasters, which I have praised on the blog many a time before. It is one of several pieces from Course on the bag, to commemorate my love for that place!

✧ Garnet Birthstone Angel Pin

I love that I have a birthday in January. I feel like a lot of people are born in May, June, July, you know, summer months. I don’t meet that many people who have birthdays in January, and it just makes me feel special because I LOVE Wintertime. Obviously, a January birthday is part of who I am, so I have this angel pin that has garnet, which is the January birthstone. I have no idea where I got this pin, but I think it's really cute and precious! It's the only "blingy" item currently on the bag. 

✧ Blueprint Pin

This pin is another from a local coffee shop. This one is from Blueprint Coffee. I personally don't go there anymore, but I still like the pin and like supporting local coffee, so on the bag it remains. I do love the brake shop location, though, it has similar vibes to Upshot Coffee Brake Shop in St. Charles.

✧ Flower Pin

This one is one of my favorites on the bag, and it is the largest! It has three pin backs to it, it's so big. This one I got at one of my favorite nurseries here in Saint Louis. Rolling Ridge Nursery in the beautiful Webster Groves area. I have purchased several plants there, and one day I found this pin there on sale, and knew I had to get it! This pin signifies not only my fondness for a specific plant shop, but also my love for house plants in general (should I do a house plant tour next??).

✧ Teleo Coffee Pin 

This is yet another local coffee shop pin. This one is for Teleo Coffee in Kirkwood, which we have been to several times. They have a really admirable set of values as a company, their mantra is "love your neighbor", and they are very community and locally focused. I also love that the pin kind of also represents the Kirkwood area, in that my dad used to live and work there before he moved to Pennsylvania in 2022. So in that way, Kirkwood is very dear to me!

✧ Course Coffee Patch

This is another of the three items on my bag dedicated to Course Coffee Roasters. They no longer sell this patch, and so I'm glad I picked it up when I did! What I would really love, however, is if they would make a patch of their compass logo, as that's my favorite design associated with their branding. But for now, this patch will do!

✧ St. Charles Patch

This is one of my favorite patches on the bag. This patch very obviously symbolizes my home and heart as a Saint Charles, MO resident. Me and my husband met in Saint Charles, fell in love, married, lived, and raised babies in Saint Charles, and it is truly a home to us! I am very happy to live where I do, and also happy that it is so close to the county I grew up in of Saint Louis. I got this patch at Joy's Collective Market, an antique and vendor market on our beautiful Main Street. 

✧ Course Coffee Button

Ok, this is the last of the Course Coffee items on the bag! Lastly, is a button. Again, I would love this design as a patch or a pin, because I prefer patches and pins to buttons... but still, I'm happy to have this button and wear it proudly on the bag!

✧ Bird Patch

This pretty patch represents two things for me. First, my love of nature and wildlife/birds. I grew up birdwatching thanks to my mother who put out birdhouses and bird-feeders for us kids to look at and help maintain. As a result, I have a pretty good knowledge of the different bird species and an appreciation for birds in general! The other thing this bird represents is my employment at my very first job, at Michaels, for that is where I got this patch. Having got the job when I was only 17, I did a lot of growing up at that job, and had fun and benefited from the learning experiences. An additional thing I love about this bird patch besides it being so pretty, is I'm really happy with the placement! The tail fits perfectly in that little space between the pocket and the zipper, and the feet look like they are perched perfectly on the bag's front pocket, which I think gives a lot of character to the bag's trinket layout. 

Well friends, that wraps up a tour of my bag decorations! 

I haven't added anything new to the bag in a couple of years now. Again, I try not to go out of my way to find things just to collect and consume. I wait until the natural process brings me a new thing here and there that proves itself worthy of being on my bag (how many times have I written "bag" in this post?? LOL!!). 

ALSO, I wanted to give a shout out to THESE PIN BACKS that I got on Amazon. I had so many issues with the regular pin backs that each of my pins came with. They were constantly breaking and falling off. But since I got the better pin backs, I have not had a single problem breaking or failing me in any way. So... if you are wanting to collect pins on something, I highly recommend those pin backs in the link!

Anyways....... Let me know if any of the patches, pins, or buttons stands out to you in any way. I am very curious what you think and if you enjoyed the bag tour!

That's all for now - 

~ Amaris // ☆

My Sourdough Adventures!

One of my favorite recent food hobbies that I started is sourdough. 

I don't really like how the pinholes turned out on this one - also my score wasn't deep enough which is why it burst through my design during the oven spring!

When I first started out (about a year ago), I was overwhelmed by the amount of complicated and overly-scientific methods and processes on the internet. I was intimidated until I finally watched Brian Lagerstrom's video, which is very beginner-friendly. This video eventually helped me make my first successful loaf ever!

I've since adapted and tweaked the method for my own purposes, and the following post is my current routine! The method is my adaptation of Brian's instructions based on my schedule and my baking experience. 

The rubber band indicates the level that it has risen from!! This is a very active starter, ready to bake with :)

My Full Sourdough Process: 

Note about feeding: I usually do not feed my starter daily. I keep my starter on the counter, and when I'm ready to bake, if it's been awhile (a week or more), I will feed it once 24hrs before baking, and again 8hrs before baking, at that point it's usually good to go. If I use it regularly enough, I only need to feed it once, 8hrs before baking. This may not work for everyone though and depends on your location and climate. I usually keep any discard in a mason jar in my fridge which I use to make discard recipes!

Start with a active and bubbly starter that has at least doubled -

1. Mixing bowl: 320g of 92F water (microwave for 20 seconds), 200g starter, 450g flour (I use AP), and 12g salt. Stir until combined and shaggy. 
2. Cover, place in oven with light on for 30 min. 
3. Stretch and fold 4 sides and 4 corners. 
4. Cover, place in oven for 30 min. 
5. Stretch and fold 4 sides and 4 corners (again). 
6. Before placing back in oven, turn oven on 170F and let it preheat for 2 minutes only (to warm oven slightly). 
7. Cover, place in warmed oven for 2 hrs. 
8. Prep proofing basket, dough, and surface with sprinkling flour. Turn dough onto surface. 
9. Grab bottom, pull fold to top of ball. Grab sides, stretch to 8”-10”, fold one on top of the other. Grab top, pull to bottom. 
10. Fold in 4 corners. Tuck in a few more times wherever it points out the sides. 
11. Place in proofing basket, seam side UP. 
12. Cover and let rise for 90 min. 
13. Preheat Dutch oven in 500F oven for 30-45 min. 
14. Check dough, should slowly spring back when poked. (If not, give it more time). 
15. On parchment paper, sprinkle masa herina or cornmeal if desired. Turn dough onto paper, seam side DOWN. 
16. Score. If desired, spritz with water (will help the crust steam and create crusty blisters!)
17. Place loaf with paper into preheated Dutch Oven. You can put the Dutch oven on a cookie sheet in the oven to prevent a burned bottom. Lid on, place in oven, turn down to 485F, bake for 18 min. Dough will spring upwards during this time. You can check the loaf if desired.
18. Place back in oven, turn down to 465F, bake for another 25 min. Crust should be golden and crusty. 

This loaf has probably been my favorite yet - visually speaking!

This method has been very successful for me. Apparently, the method changes depending on the type of climate (and I think elevation) you're living in. I am in the midwest and things can get very warm and humid in the Summer, and very cold in the Winter, so you have an idea of what my location is like in which this method works. 

To wrap up, here are a few loaves that I've made - 

This one had a really high oven spring that I loved! 

Recently, I just started experimenting with inclusions. That is, using the same base process/method above, but modifying it to incorporate various flavors and toppings/add - ins! 

You can't quite tell in this photo, but this crumb shot is a rosemary loaf! I added rosemary and olive oil and it turned out so delicious.

The munched - looking spot on the left is where I tore some off to give to my toddler XD

The most recent inclusion I did was with rye! I made a rye sourdough loaf by swapping some of the all purpose flour with whole grain dark rye flour, and added caraway seeds, molasses, and cocoa powder. I made this one yesterday and plan to use it in the next few days for reuben sandwhiches!

Next I want to try a cheddar loaf. I am excited to continue experimenting! 

Have you ever tried making sourdough? What are your thoughts on my process? 

Until next time :)

- Amaris ☆ //

☆

Psalm 50 : 6
And the heavens declare His righteousness,
For God Himself is judge.

Psalm 89 : 5-6a
The heavens will praise Your wonders, O LORD;
Your faithfulness also in the assembly of the holy ones.
For who in the skies is comparable to the LORD?

Psalm 97 : 6
The heavens declare His righteousness,
And all the peoples have seen His glory.

Psalm 19 : 1
the heavens are telling of the glory of GOD;
And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.

Psalm 8 : 1 
O LORD, our LORD,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth,
Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens!

Psalm 57 : 5
Be exalted above the heavens, O God;
Let Your glory be above all the earth.

Psalm 57 : 9-11
I will give thanks to You, O LORD, among the peoples; 
I will sing praises to You among the nations.
For Your lovingkindness is great to the heavens and Your truth to the clouds.
Be exalted above the heavens, O God;
Let Your glory be above all the earth.

Psalm 113 : 4-6
The LORD is high above all nations;
His glory is above the heavens.
Who is like the LORD our GOD,
Who is enthroned on high,
Who humbles Himself to behold
The things that are in heaven and in the earth?

- Amaris //

how to talk to people (and not die)

Here are some questions I've thought of to start deep conversations with people if you're an introvert like me and are deathly afraid of dislike small talk.

p.s. they actually work- I've tried them myself and it really helps me when I'm in a social situation and I don't know what to say or how to start a conversation.

--

What's your favorite way to appreciate God? 

Should you ever regret caring, even if it made things worse in the end or it seemed to not matter?

How do you maximize the positive and minimize the negative without ignoring the negative or pretending it doesn't exist?

How do you tell if your way of 'helping' someone becomes enabling to them and their toxic/bad behavior? 

What does spiritual and emotional maturity mean to you?

Do you think we choose God or did He choose us?

Do you think that miracles run out for a person or situation? 

Do relationships define a person? What about a person who doesn’t have a lot of friends? 

Do you think a person's personality changes as they get older? Or do you think it just advances and evolves, while remaining still the same mainly?

What's the best way to learn about something? 

Do you think hatred exists or is it just the absence of love?

At what point do you give up trying to be friends with someone?

What do you like about (or dislike, if they're not a believer!) Christianity? 

Is sharing an opinion worth the risk of embarrassment if you’re wrong? At what point do you think you have enough information to share an opinion and stand by it?

Do you see video games as ultimately good or bad for a person/s character? 

In your opinion, what makes a good movie?

--

Photo Credit: Me

Well, that's all you guys. Let me know if you use any of these and if they help you at all/what you think of them.

~ Amaris // ☆

// spending time with God : //

You guys; I can't 'recommend' God enough.

In all the hard times I've been through in the last 9 months or so, I could NOT have gone through it without God.
I mean, I barely got through it at all (for example : I've never had anxiety attacks before, yet so far this year I've had three -_-), but as hard as things were (and still are), God was there for me every step of the way, and I grew to love Him and rely on Him like I never have before.
And I'm still learning!
I'm especially learning that growth with God never stops. Even when I feel like I've learned so much and think I've come so far with Him, He will show me through something in my life that I have still so much to learn!
A relationship with God is never ending, and that's the best thing about Him in my opinion.

Top reasons I love spending time with God:

// spending time with God : puts my problems back in their place //
To me, this is one of the sweetest things about spending time praying to God and reading in His word. All my troubled and anxious thoughts are put into an amazing perspective that only God can give. What things am I worried about, anxious about, angry about, obsessed about that really don't matter very much? Turns out, quite a few.

Photo credit: Me

// spending time with God : gives me ways to relate to other believers //
Ever heard of church friends? My life has improved in countless ways since I started asking advice from mature Christian friends in my life! God has blessed me with several people in particular at my new church who have helped me grow as a woman in God, all because the LORD moved in my heart to open up to them and ask!

// spending time with God : calms my anxiety //
If you're new here, here's a fact about me. I have anxiety. It's rather bad, actually. It comes and goes in waves throughout different periods of my life. For example, in 2016-2017, I was having a really good two years and I had almost no anxiety. For real, I had almost none. It was awesome. But, things in my life started to change (not necessarily in my external life, but actually largely internal) in 2018 and this year, and it's gotten truly bad and difficult to deal with yet again. But during these times, the word of GOD is even more of a comfort to me! I am incredibly blessed with verses such as these :

Psalm 34:17-18
When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
And sustain me with a willing spirit.

Photo credit: Me

// spending time with God : reminds me who i am //
As a girl in her early twenties, I am still learning who I am in this life. Who am I living for? What is my purpose? What paths should I take to glorify God? What friends should I try to make? What friends do I let go of? What kind of friend should I be to others? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? Why do I struggle with this or that? You get the idea. Going back to the perspective thing, spending time with God helps me to hear from Him about who I truly am supposed to be, and puts in perspective the things that I am worried about. That post that I published a bit ago about being single? That came from many hours worth of praying to God and asking Him how He wants me to live my single life, whether it be just for now, or the rest of my life. He has helped me - and is still helping me - see that I don't need another person to be a better version of myself. Believing the lie that I am not complete without "mY oThEr HaLf" would be coming from a place of insecurity and not trusting that God has good plans for me whether they include a significant other or not.

2 Timothy 1:7
for GOD gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.


// spending time with God : reminds me who He is //
I truly believe with all of my heart that God is the best thing that can happen to a person. I think this pin describes my thoughts well:

I like those words. "If you KNEW". God is so mighty, and full of blessing and satisfaction! When Paul went to visit the city of Athens, he noticed that the Athenians had many false gods. They were SO religious, in fact, that they even had a statue dedicated 'TO AN UNKNOWN GOD' for whatever god they might have missed! Well, needless to say, Paul had their answer. He was passionate about showing the Athenians that the One True God is here! He is not unknown but wants to be known by us! The Athenians worshiped the created things when they could be worshiping the Creator! Of course, some of the Athenians scoffed at Paul's words (you can read the full story in Acts 17 if you want), but the concept is rather simple: having the 'unknown god' but not discovering who He is or getting to know Him is like having an amazing subscription box delivered to your house with all the incredible things inside but not opening it! It doesn't make any sense to do that.
I truly believe that the LORD is the answer to all problems and He is full of blessing, and reading His word and spending time with Him helps me learn and remember all the ways that He is amazing.

I will close with this verse, from one of my favorite books of the Bible during this time:

Psalm 116:7
Return to your rest, O my soul,
For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

Photo credit: Me

~ Amaris // ☆


What does GOD mean to you? What is the best thing God has done for you lately? What is your favorite way to get to know Him?

Waiting for Nothing

When I was 14, I read all the best Christian books about purity and singleness.
You name it, I read it.
"How to wait for God's best with a romantic relationship", "How to serve God while waiting", etc. (those aren't actual titles but you get the idea).
I felt really good about reading those books. And what's more, I felt confident in my ability to 'wait for God's best'.
Life went on, and I waited, like the books told me to.
It went pretty well. I kept waiting.
To be honest, it was easy. I was 15, 16, 17, who needs a relationship anyway? Certainly not me! None of my friends had boyfriends and they were were single too. It was all good. I kept waiting.


I'm 21 now... and I'm still 'waiting'.
Yeah, I know I'm still young, and a lot can happen as the years go on. But the problem is, for some reason back then I thought that 'waiting' would get easier the longer I did it. Well, that's not true. It actually gets harder. 
The main reason it's harder is because many people my age are getting into relationships. They're kissing each other. They're getting engaged. Married. And they're my age.
What's more, most of these couples are clearly following God's will and serving Him - together.
To be honest, it would be easier if they were all pursuing sinful relationships.
But they're not.
They're serving God, and they're working hard.
But wait...
I'm doing those things too.
So... where's my godly romantic relationship?
Man that's hard.
Feelings of doubt and fear and even anger and jealously make a home in my mind.


I entertain anxiety: by wondering if I'm not good enough. What can I do to be good enough so God will give me my heart's desire? I might struggle with social anxiety because I'm afraid no one will like me. (Philippians 4:6)

I struggle with doubt: I ask myself if it's truly God's plan that I never meet someone and marry, what if being single all my life is not going to be good enough? I don't know if I trust God with my happiness. (Proverbs 3:5-6)


I battle anger & jealousy: why should other couples have what I want? Why should they have their romantic desires fulfilled when I am serving God just as much, maybe more? I'm the one who deserves this. I find myself getting annoyed when people talks about couples. I struggle praying for other couple's relationships. I try to avoid hanging out with couples because spending time with people who have what I want is hurtful to me (mostly my pride). (Philippians 4:19, Philippians 2:3)


I don't know if any of these sound familiar.
Maybe you're struggling too. Maybe you're not.
In my case, I have to learn, first of all, to recognize the entertainment of these thoughts for what they are; Sin. Specifically, discontentment. (Isaiah 64:6)
Discontentment is the umbrella sin above every sin listed above. Anxiety, fear, worry, doubt, anger, jealousy, bitterness. It all stems from not being content in what God has given me. You know what they say, the grass is always greener. So what's at the root of discontentment? Unbelief.


Being discontent is not believing that God has this under control.
It's not trusting that He knows best, and knows what He's doing with my life. Like I said above, it's worrying that God's plan for me isn't good enough.
What a distorted, twisted mess sin makes things!
The good news is, no matter the struggle, there's always hope.
I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. (Psalms 42:11)


No matter the lies, there are always truths from God to replace them.
The first thing I want to point out is this: Sin distorts what God meant to be good. It's ok to want a romantic partner. It's ok to desire an intimate relationship. It's natural and healthy. That's why God created romance! He is the Founder and Author of romantic intimacy.
But when they are allowed to mix with negative thoughts and fester in the mind, these natural and godly desires can turn into so many unhealthy and sinful desires.
So, what can we do? What can I do?
I am still struggling with this; every single day. (Romans 6:17)


But here's what God has been telling me about being single.
First of all, let's clear this up: No matter what you've heard in Hallmark movies, there's not 'someone for everyone'. If you're single and hoping to get married some day, listen to this. You. Might. Never. Get. Married.
I know... I'm a dream crusher. But consider this for a second:
What if you start living your life as if you'll never get married? What would that look like?
What if you begin making a better life for yourself right now; instead of waiting to make a life with someone else (the 'love of your life') some day?
Believe me, you don't want to look back one day (married or not!) and wish and wonder why you didn't grab hold of God's best life for you while you could.
Live your best life for God NOW!
Create a life for yourself that you are so in love with that even if you don't get married, you'll barely miss it.


Because:
Imagine the flip-side.
Imagine spending years 'waiting' and 'preparing' yourself to be married one day, only to discover at one point or another that it's not in God's plan for you to be married... ever?
All those years I spent holding onto that romantic movie quote; 'There's someone for everyone'?
What an absolute waste of time. (Proverbs 14:12)
The truth is: I am a whole person; a beautiful, amazing, complete, happy person, without anyone else. I should not be spending my time waiting or searching for 'my other half' because I'M NOT A HALF. This is true not just for me, but everyone who reads this.



You've probably heard many people say that life is about waiting.
It's true, we wait for many things in life. Life includes waiting. But I believe that life is, in fact, not about waiting. Especially for things that might not ever happen.
Life is about growing in the LORD, and trusting Him no matter what He gives. It's about taking what He gives me and relying on Him to help me make the most of it. Because what I have, what you have, is truly amazing with or without a relationship. (Psalms 9:10)

Will I be happy if the LORD gives me a husband one day? Yes.
Will I be happy if I never get married as long as I live? Still yes.

And guess what? You will too. (Psalm 37:4)
So that's my message for you. That's my takeaway from this post, and I hope it encourages someone. Trust God with your future, as He is reminding me, every single day, to trust Him with mine. (Psalm 115:11, Matthew 11:28) Maybe not everyone who reads this post will have these same struggles. But I certainly do. And if you do too, this is for you.


Wait for nothing.


// Amaris //

p.s. Thank you for all the sweet comments on my last post <3

Psalm 86 // Aesthetic

Well, peeps, this year has been hard so far. 
2016 was really good.
2017 was pretty good.
2018 was ok...

But 2019, man. 
Big oof.

But anyways, in spite of some interesting things going on in my life, the LORD has really been a comfort to me in the last few months, and I think my relationship with Him has grown in ways like it never has. 
The Psalms, especially, have been a place of refuge to me.
As you read, try to just take a deep breath, calm your thoughts, and let these beautiful words speak to you.
Now here you are. A post. 
To praise the God of Psalm 86. (NASB) 

// Psalm 86 //

Incline Your ear, O Lord, and answer me;
For I am afflicted and needy. 

Preserve my soul, for I am a godly man;
O You my God, save Your servant who trusts in You.

  

Be gracious to me, O Lord,
For to You I cry all day long.

Instagram: @est._1998

Make glad the soul of Your servant,
For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive,
And abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You.

Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer;
And give heed to the voice of my supplications!

In the day of my trouble I shall call upon You,
For You will answer me.

Instagram: @est._1998

There is no one like You among the gods, O Lord,
Nor are there any works like Yours.

All nations whom You have made shall come and worship before You, O Lord,
And they shall glorify Your name.

 For You are great and do wondrous deeds;
You alone are God.

Instagram: @est._1998

  Teach me Your way, O Lord;
I will walk in Your truth;
Unite my heart to fear Your name.

I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And will glorify Your name forever.

For Your lovingkindness toward me is great,
And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.

O God, arrogant men have risen up against me,

And a band of violent men have sought my life,
And they have not set You before them.

Instagram: @est._1998

 But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth.

  

Turn to me, and be gracious to me;
Oh grant Your strength to Your servant,
And save the son of Your handmaid.

  

Show me a sign for good,
That those who hate me may see it and be ashamed,
Because You, O Lord, have helped me and comforted me.

Instagram: @est._1998

-Amaris

Too Great to Fathom

(Note: This isn't a song, nor is it a poem. It is an overflow of praise in my heart; inspired by the greatest love ever shown.)

It's freeing, it's sobering.

It's humbling, it's satisfying.

It's gratifying, it's loving.

It's timeless, it's wonderful.

// There isn't anything like it. //

It rights every wrong.

It bridges every gap.

It makes grown men weep.

It makes the weak strong.

 

In my worst days, it is there.

In my best days, it is there.

It is the foundation of every good thing.

// There isn't anything like it. //

From it flows love.

From it flows peace.

From it alone flows redemption.

Redemption.

What a sweet, sweet word!

  Like sugar on my lips.

Wrong has been made right.

Defeat has turned to victory.

Timidity turns to power!

// There isn't anything like it. //

Hate becomes love.

Resentment becomes forgiveness.

Pride becomes humbled.

Simple enough for a child.

Yet it baffles the wisest man.

It is a comfort to the lonely.

It is power for the weak.

It is prosperity for the lowly.

It is refuge for the condemned.

It is delight for the oppressed.

// There isn't anything like it. //

.

.

.

You might have already guessed it; it's the gospel. 

  ~

As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, the living God; When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"

Psalm 42:1-3 

Many are the afflictions of the righteous. But the LORD delivers him out of them all.

Psalm 34:19

O LORD, open my lips, that my mouth may declare Your praise.

Psalms 51:15

~ 

-Amaris