... A Rant :)
“I had no idea how much these quiet pleasures had retreated for my life while I was rushing around, and now I’m inviting them back in: still, rhythmic work with the hands, the kind of light concentration that allows you to dream, and the sense of a kindness done in the process”
- Wintering, by Katherine May
I recently cancelled my Apple Music subscription to save money (following our decision to quit my full time job, as detailed in this post).
As a result, on my way to work twice a week, I have resorted to listening to a total of 3 Owl City CD's that I obtained as a teenager. They have lived in the little in-between-the front-seats-compartment (I don't know what that compartment is called, LOL) in all my cars since my first Buick when I was 17.
Even though the days of CD's are long over, I just never got rid of them. Partially because of sentiment (after all, Owl City Ocean Eyes was the first album I ever listened to that wasn't completely and obviously "Christian", and paved the way for me to experiment with music until I have the tastes that I do today), and partially because I was just too lazy/or didn't care to.
The albums are Ocean Eyes, Mobile Orchestra, and Maybe I'm Dreaming, and even though these albums in their digital form are apart of my Apple Music Library, I haven't listened to them in their entirety in a long time.
So I was surprised to find that, when listening to them for the first time in my car on the way to work, how utterly enjoyable it was. How happy it made me!
It got me thinking... why is it that when I have unlimited options - a digital arsenal of practically every song I could ever dream of listening to - I am so much more... stressed?? Overwhelmed? Unsatisfied? Some of my favorite songs are on Apple Music that I can access, after all. But a lot of times, I won't even listen to the whole song. I'll listen through the first chorus, then skip!
I think a huge reason for the decline in many people's mental health in recent years is the introduction of unlimited media. But not just music. YouTube has every video about every topic you could ever imagine. Streaming services have practically every movie and show that you could ever care to watch. Social Media has every profile of almost every person you know, with endless updates about their lives, and endless opinions on politics, pop culture, health, parenting.... etc.
Don't get me wrong, this is great and all. This is all very valuable and helpful in it's own way.
But it's not just the problem of decision paralysis from all the unlimited choices and information overwhelm, something that I believe our brains weren't designed to handle in the first place. No, it's also the fact that we are all being robbed blind by subscription services.
Think about it. A year of my Apple Music subscription cost me $10.99 x 12 months = about $130 bucks.
You are telling me, after paying A HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLARS - that if I cancel the "subscription", I don't have the choice or the option to access ANY of my favorite songs anymore?
So in essence, nothing is really MINE. Nothing is OWNED.
In the olden days, you bought a CD, and then that CD was yours FOREVER. Even my Owl City CDs, TO THIS DAY are still MINE! I can still play them, I don't have to continue paying to continue enjoying them, and what's more, the songs aren't going to change if the world decides it's offensive for some reason for 10 years.
So while driving along hearing my CD and having my thoughts. I thought to myself - this is the life to strive for.
A life that owns instead of rents. A life that is grateful for what I have, which isn't everything in the world ever.
There is no striving for everything I can't have, because I'm content with what I do have. And what I DO have, I'm grateful for and I take care of.
A life that doesn't dull the pain of the mundane with hits of dopamine just to get by and feed the need of more more MORE.
Because here's the thing ... the internet never ends. If I have an addiction to scrolling, here's the scary thing. There is no end to it. There is no limit. You could literally go on, and on and on. But it will never fully satisfy!
I remember when I was a young teenager and I was getting into nail art (side note.... my mom didn't approve of the nail art. She thought nails should only be painted red, pink, or nude colors only. When I tried different colors such as purple as well as designs, she was gravely disapproving! I have no idea why, but it makes me chuckle today. LOL), I remember I would log onto Pinterest, which was still new and hot at the time, and search "nail art". And I WOULD ACTUALLY EVENTUALLY SCROLL TO THE "BOTTOM" OF THE PAGE because that was the END of the search results for "nail art"!!!! Nowadays, that just doesn't happen.
It is my belief that a big learning curve for my generation (Gen Z, or the micro-generation, "Zillenial") was how to manage our own screen time, because it's not something our parents grew up with.
As a new mom, I see plenty of online advice about not letting your kid have too much screen time, because there's actually some research on the subject now.
But I'm still struggling with my OWN screen time, after 10+ years of cultivated habits from when I was a social media and internet-using teenager! My generation's parents didn't know how to deal with this phone stuff, because it all became available after they were adults.
It's something that I want to better in myself, so that I can raise my child with the tools he needs to be self disciplined.
This is ONE of the reasons that I have avowed myself to start blogging more and regularly. To, in a sense, bring back the enjoyment of "slow internet". I have no idea if anyone still even reads my blog. Every one is out watching short form videos! Including myself, at times!
But I want to get back to the slow, methodical, even ritualistic practice of the delayed gratification type of media, the type that takes awhile to put together, that helps me share thoughts and even understand my own values while I type them out. It takes practice, and honestly, a whole lot of unlearning and RE-learning. But I think it's worth it!
Well, friends, that is all. This was a rather rambly, rant/vent sort of post. It was something that came to mind for me recently after actually giving up some things that I used to have "limited" options of. It got me thinking and so I wanted to share. If you haven't taken a break from your subscriptions lately, I recommend you give it a try! It might be "boring" for a bit, but that's where you start to see the magic! Not to mention your wallet will thank you.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you think that the introduction of streaming and the "unlimited" nature of the internet, has ultimately improved society or harmed it?
Until next time :)
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